So, what’s next for Mrs B?

I’ve certainly been asking myself that for a while now. I’m a mum of 2 boys but they are now 20 and 17 (almost18), finding their own independence, as one is at uni and the other is at 6th form and also working a part time job. I have been married for 24 years and my hubby is a shift worker so that means I now spend the majority of my time alone! Due to my illness and chronic pain I’m no longer able to work a conventional job (I was a driving instructor), but I’m lucky that blogging and running social media accounts can be done in pj’s even on a bad day if necessary.

Yet when the boys where younger my life was busy (illness or not) with after school clubs, kids parties, meeting up with friends in the holidays etc, and although I am still officially a taxi service, a cook and a bank, my life is much more subdued. That in itself gives you time…………………..LOTS of time! Time to ponder and think about your own role in life. Yes I am still a wife and a mum but I am also ME. So, with 48 looming very quickly (and my hubby turning 50 last year!) I am starting to think about my time. How do I want to spend my time now my kids are off doing their own thing most of the time? Read more

Fibromyalgia pain management help on the horizon at last

Any of you that have been following me for a while will know that I have ME and Fibromyalgia, which in lay mans terms means I am permanently exhausted and have constant chronic pain (with lots of other symptoms but the list is too long to mention!).

I was diagnosed in 2009 and after being initially referred for a 12 week management program in London at the start my Borough decided they would not pay for me to go out of borough for treatment even though there was nothing similar in my area. So, after being diagnosed  I was then left with no input apart from pain relief from my GP. I spent years on Tramadol until my body totally adjusted and they were having absolutely no effect. Last year when the pain became to difficult to handle my GP switched me to Morphine (slow release) and Oramorph for breakthrough pain during the day. Again as my body adjusted they had less and less effect and the dosages where increased to a point where my GP could not authorise another increase without referring my to a Rheumatologist.

This was probably the best thing that could have happened. I had an appointment in February and she confirmed 18 tender points of Fibro around my body alongside all over body tenderness ( that means my body feels bruised so wearing clothing/ shoes etc all hurts as though someone is pressing directly on a bruised piece of skin!). From there she referred me to the Fibromyalgia clinic and I had that very long appointment yesterday. It takes all afternoon as you see three separate specialists in different areas who all work together to approach the illness from different angles.

I came out feeling amazingly positive after speaking to three separate specialists who not only believed I was in pain but understood how it affects my daily life and had input in how they could, together as a team, help me manage my pain better and help me restore some normality back to my life.

THIS IS HUGE!! For years I have been left to cope with only inadequate pain relief ( turns out opiates are useless in treating the pain I have-typical!) with people finding it hard to actually believe I am in CONSTANT pain. I know I am my own worst enemy as I do not allow anyone to see how it affects me. If I go out no-one would even think for a moment that my body is screaming out in pain, I will smile and chat and completely mask it ( hence some people think it’s not possible to be in pain ALL of the time). My only visible show that something is wrong is that I use a walking stick, not because I bloody enjoy people looking staring at me but because the pain in my ankles is sharp and knife like and can literally knock you off balance when out walking around.

This denial, or masking my issues seems to be part of the problem. If people think I am OK I will carry on as normal doing things I know will knock me off my feet the next day just so no- one sees I cannot cope! Apparently I need to learn to say ‘No’ and totally understand how to pace activity. This is new to me too as I totally live my life the ‘boom and bust’ way, that means on days where I am more able I will do WAY too much just to catch up etc which then pays me back with several days not able to do anything at all.

So, after an extremely long hospital visit to the clinic yesterday they offered to put me on a 7 week pain management course which looks at all these issues alongside getting a combination of medications that actually work with a routine of pacing.

This is the most help I have had in all the years I have been diagnosed. I feel positive with everything they were telling me and I now have to just wait to hear when the course will be starting. Although it is 7 weeks long it is only 1 day a week at reasonable times with lots of breaks etc. I will meet other people in the same position who actually live in my area too which could end up being a bonus socially.

I have been on support groups online throughout having the illness but I tend to find they become quite depressive with people venting every little aspect, pain, new symptom and bad day they are having. I too have those days where it can bring you right down in mood, but that is not how I want to live my life- it is restricted enough without wallowing in what’s wrong instead of concentrating on what is going well. So, although I remain on these groups I tend only to comment on positive posts because I do feel that sometimes when I am feeling OK they can have a draining affect on your mood as you start to think ‘Oh God is that how I am going to become’. I am not running these groups down they do provide people with daily contact and reassurance and generally are a good thing, however, it can become a bit of a pity party some days and that’s not how I want to look at my illness. I know some people will say they have been on the course I have been offered and it did nothing for them and that’s fine, but because a lot of how you manage pain can be down to mindset as well I do not want to go in with any negative attitude- otherwise what is the point?

So, I will keep you updated when I do start and let you all know what happens. But for now I am very happy I am getting any help at all and we have to be prepared to help ourselves as well as the illness is complex and cannot just be fixed with a particular medication or procedure. So send loads of positive thoughts please, I am feeling that my outlook is going to be rosy.

 

N:rem sleep system review

As most regulars will know I have had M.E for the last 6 years or so and what comes with that ( amongst a long list of symptoms) is constant chronic muscular pain which is not helpful when trying to get a good night’s sleep ( something that eludes me most nights).

I was recently given the chance to review a ‘sleep system’ that gives you the option of choosing one personal to your own needs. For me most of my pain is in my neck, shoulders, back and then my lower legs and ankles, with my ankles being the worst and therefore I use a walking stick to help with balance issues and to help me be up and around for longer periods than I would normally be able to manage. With my neck it just seems impossible for me to relax my muscles and regularly use heat pads ( along with very strong pain medications) to help ease it a little.

So, when I got the sleep system delivered I read through the information that was sent with it to help you put the sponge pieces in the right place for you. I was told that this could take a couple of adjustments but i was really lucky to choose the right placement for me from the first night.

The system in made up of 5 sponge tablets of different support levels from ‘super soft’ through to ‘firm’ The information gives you an idea of where to place them in relation to where you need the most or least support.

My placement from top (head level) to bottom (feet level) went as follows:

super soft

Soft

super soft

medium

soft

these are the tablets for a single bed
these are the tablets for a single bed

They come in an easy to remember colour code so if you do have to change them up a bit it could be done quite easily, but for me this worked very well.

I am normally quite sceptical about these sorts of things, especially when they try and promise a great night’s sleep however, this one did surprise me a little. From the first evening I felt very comfortable on this and felt the top half really took a lot of normal pressure off my neck, shoulders, and even my hips as I usually lay on my sides most of the night. So in all honesty I really slept quite well ( for me anyway) on that first night. The next day I had a day where I needed to go back to bed in the afternoon ( something I have to do on a regular basis) for a few hours. I realised when I woke up that I was actually in the same position I had originally settled in, and I can tell you this NEVER happens!!

I did get used to the system very quickly and I can say that for a few days that week I seemed to manage a little better, yes the pain was always there as usual but as I was getting more quality sleep than I am normally used to, even if it was just an hour or two it did make me feel like I was able to do slightly more than I normally can.

Begrudgingly I had to give the system back after a week and funnily my husband has remarked that I have started to toss and turn again like I used too, so it certainly was doing something for me!

But for those of you who may suffer with disturbed sleep, or chronic pain that then affects your sleep this could proof suitable for your needs too. Having checked out their website they also offer a monthly payment for the system so you can spread the cost and equals to £1 a night- not bad for a decent night’s kip.

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**DISCLAIMER: I was given the use of this system free of charge for a short time for the purposes of a review, however all views are my own.

 

I’m a social outcast!

This has been playing on my mind for some time but really only hit home yesterday when I received an impromptu invite to go ‘up north’ on an overnight road trip with a friend.

I have had M.E now for around 6 years (diagnosed) and slowly but surely it has taken control of my life. I am not able to be as mobile as before, or on the go as much, and I do spend a lot of time in my pj’s not because I’m lazy but because there are days where I will end up back in bed or I just haven’t the energy at all to get in the bath or shower. I do use a walking stick now when I go out as it gives me stability when walking due to the knife stabbing pain I have in my ankle joints 24 hours a day, and my calf muscle feels like it will rip with every step I take. Therefore, the stick is a helpful reassurance for me that I will not lose my balance or fall over which would just be the most embarassing thing for me! On longer days out I will choose to use a wheelchair due to the walking involved ( if we go to a theme park, or when we are on holiday as it saves me spending the next day in bed due to any walking I may do). I HATE having to use both and fought against them for a very long time before I realised that they were actually a benefit to me.  When I have got something to get out for I will adjust my days and rest up beforehand and plan nothing for the day after so I can stay in bed if it’s necessary.

Over time I have seen so called friends fall by the wayside, and invites to nights out or weekends away or days up in London etc become non existent. These so called friends have taken it upon themselves to decide for me that I would not be able to go on these outings. Let’s face it who wants to be stuck with someone with a stick when they have gone out boogying for the night! I have become ‘a hindrance’, a problem, even a disadvantage for them.

What they have failed to consider is on a night out I would never expect someone to have the ‘issue’ of keeping me company at the table while everyone else is on the dance floor. I would actually be very happy to keep an eye on the drinks and handbags with the bonus of having a few minutes here and there boogying on the dance floor ( without my stick) over the evening out. I would still enjoy the night, get drunk as normal, and have fun with friends who are also out having fun. Yes I would be frustrated that I couldn’t be on the dance floor all night but those are my frustrations to deal with, not theirs.

Last night I had an invite from a friend who I do not see very often but am in contact via text and Whatsapp virtually everyday amongst a group of girls who are fundamentally mad as hatters but just brilliant, fun company. I was not left out of her 40th birthday celebrations a few years ago when we all met up in London for a great and fast river boat adventure on the Thames before a bit of a pub crawl and dinner as well. There was a fair bit of walking involved and I popped my pain medications all day long, had a brilliant time and then spend the next day or two in bed, but it was bloody worth it. This friend is organising a road trip up to help support another friend as she opens her own interior designs showroom. She is doing the driving and and she also offered me her bed if we crash on someone’s floor. At no point did she leave me out of the group ( she didn’t have to include me and I would not have been none the wiser), it was just an instant shout out to see who would be around for an overnight jaunt. I am excited to have something organised, sad as that may sound, but even more happy that she did not discount me by making the decision that I would not be able to manage it.

So, my question is why is everyone else making the decision on my behalf to leave me out? I am a sociable person, I love a good laugh, I have no problem making a fool of myself, I love to have a drink with company and can get rat arsed the same as everyone else ( there is no law yet about being drunk in charge of a walking stick!).

It makes me wonder then what people see when they look at me. What do you see?

Thankfully they didn't put all 43 candles on it otherwise my face might have melted!!

 

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Rant….. For or against?

I will warn you now that this post will deteriorate into a rant and I cannot be held responsible for my language that may follow…………..

I have watched loads of these videos and laughed at the person being iced without ever having any intention of doing it myself. Then I watched a video that changed all that. This video is heartfelt and shows the reality and the fear that someone who cares for someone with this disease or has it themselves.

WATCH IT HERE

I have also been chatting to ‘friends’ on Whatsapp who over the last few days have shunned and slated people who are nominating them to take part. I warned them I had been nominated and would be doing it anyway ( I don’t bow under peer pressure!). However, in the conversation one lady put out a HUGE long list ( obviously copied from the net somewhere) giving other things I could do to ‘walk a mile in ALS shoes’………

* put weights on my ankles and take the stairs 2 at a time to feel what they feel going upstairs

* put weights on my wrists and try and lift a cuppa or feed myself

* lay in bed for an hour in one position without moving

* put marshmallows in my mouth and try and have a normal conversation and make myself understood

This got me riled to say the least so I ‘POLITELY’ put back….

‘ I may already qualify for those as I have M.E / Fibromyalgia meaning severe and chronic muscular skeletal pain ALL the time and have NOT been pain free for the last 4 yrs at least- NEVER in that time, EVER, even in bed. I use a walking stick daily due to severe exhaustion and ankle pain and a wheelchair for anything longer that a short walkabout. I have nausea and migraines regularly and I feel as though I carry a full extra persons weight on my back and bones and muscles all the time and my bedroom is up 2 flights of stairs- hope that helps! ‘

RUDE? No I didn’t think so but guess what…… I haven’t heard a peep back from that particular person! When I relayed this to my family and gave them the alternatives that she offered my youngest ( whose is 13yrs old) just said ‘ That sounds like you Mum’.

So I did my challenge knowing that iced water was definitely going to give me severe problems later in the day, however, my reasoning was that MND is degenerative to the point of taking your life, my illness is long term and chronic also but wont take my life unless I choose to make it so.

My #IceBucketChallenge for ALS/ MND

I know there was a bit too much vengeance in the throwing of that water. But what  I hope you notice is that I was rendered speechless, and the cold literally stopped me from doing anything apart from shake, which is the whole idea of the challenge. Just after that my OH had to help me up and by the time I had walked to my back door to go inside I had a searing pain in my left temple and a complete wave of nausea!

I was quite proud of myself though for doing it and my 2 boys have completed theirs today and my OH is doing his tomorrow ( revenge will be sweet!) and we are donating as a family with everyone contributing.

I felt good about myself that I had done something ‘good’ for charity, a great cause that most people know very little about and really is a horrible degenerative disease.

BUT……

Then tonight I saw a random comment on Twitter ( and I know and understand that everyone has their own opinion and I do respect that- hence I didn’t get into a Twitter row) that simply said ‘I am so over this #icebucketchallenge bollocks’. This one comment sent me completely off my fecking rocker. Bollocks? Bollocks? Really?

Ok I know this challenge is a bit like Marmite and you either are for it or against, but really raising awareness for a degenerative disease- Bollocks- I think NOT!

I would LOVE to know if that person has taken the time to visit the MND or ALS site. I would like to know if they have a person in their family who suffers with a chronic illness that is NEVER going to go away let alone take their life. I wonder if they would be of the same opinion if someone in their family or they themselves were diagnosed with ALS.

Answer me that………. would they be so fecking cold hearted if they had. This is what it is all about, raising awareness and funds to help with research into this disease and to help people who have to suffer this. I mean come on you wouldn’t see your family pet in that sort of distress let alone a member of your family.

So you can shove your ‘Bollocks attitude’ where the sun doesn’t shine, empathy and compassion costs nothing and it really wouldn’t hurt you to show some occasionally!

RANT OVER

To Donate just text ICED55 to 70070 to donate £5 to MND Association- it will take seconds for you to do this but could make all the difference to future sufferers.

 

The trouble with………..

……….long term illness is that from one day to the next you never know what it is going to throw at you! The last month has been unbelievably hard, my M.E symptoms have been flaring up. The exhaustion I have had has left me in my pj’s most days until at least 3 or 4pm, the pain in my muscles has seen me put on my new medication (that isn’t working) and generally feeling crap about everything including myself! I have found it difficult to be on here at all and have had no enthusiasm for it, but that is getting back to normal.

………..Mother’s Day with teens is that the presents change as I found out this year. Although I got my usual ‘little’ things that I love, mugs/ good coffee and other bits, I also had a more unusual gift which looked initially like this

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are you getting the theme here? But tucked inside was this……….

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Tickets to a show in the Palace Theatre for Breast Cancer, with Paul Potts, Shane Ward, Joe McElderry and Kingsland Road to name a few. It was a cracking night too.

………….the school holidays with teens is that they actually want to spend most of it in bed or in their rooms. Now the late mornings I am not complaining about but the wasting of days I am! Gone are the days where I would have everyday planned out with them, activities, visiting, meeting with friends at the park etc. But now they are teens, especially my eldest, he had some of his own things going on. He went out with friends to the cinema and bowling etc so a lot of the days were already planned. I do miss the old days but actually found this school holiday far more relaxing than previous ones. We did have the odd day out, Whitstable and Herne Bay -that sort of thing.

Me and my lovely boys!
Me and my lovely boys!

We also had some great card game nights after my MIL taught my youngest a few new games when he stayed over for the night at their caravan.

So there has been lots going on but I haven’t been that bothered about sharing it all until now. I will get back into the flow of things and have missed reading all my regular blogs and my conversations on Twitter but I have to admit the break has done me some good. So will be churning a few more posts in the next few days about what has been going on around here like my eldest turning 16!!!! Now that’s another post

 

 

The Half Term Dilemma

As always in my house – nothing is ever done the easy way!

So half term was supposed to be a trip to my mum’s in Devon for me and the boys for most of the week as my OH was left at home working. By the end of the week just before half term the arrangements had altered to just me and my eldest visiting Devon.

My youngest did not have other arrangements, my OH had not taken the time off work………………so what changed?

Well, as always long story short, youngest was playing up all week and called me some totally unacceptable names, so I made the decision to leave him behind (not home alone obviously but at home with dad while he was there and then at his other nana’s when he was at work).

Not an easy decision though, but at the age of 13 I think I had to make the point that he cannot get away with the behaviour he had been sporting.

I have now been at my mums for two days so far and it has been a total chill out. No arguing, no complaining, no demanding and no ‘high maintenance’ attitude. It has been blissful. I have had no dinners to cook, no cleaning to do and generally no organising to consider. Like I said………..BLISS.

Me and my youngest son are VERY alike. We are headstrong, vocal and generally like to be in total control!! However, I think because we are so alike we had reached a stage where we both were in need of a break from each other.

In actual fact it has worked out great all round. He had a model to make for school which he spent 2 days with Dad working on it. He then gets to spend a day with his younger cousins at my MIL’s and then is going to help his Grandad sort his new IPod which he cannot use!! Therefore my son will get one to one time with him teaching him how to sort all his CD’s onto his IPod (that should make for interesting viewing). Then he will get another full day with Dad before we return.

In the meantime my eldest gets to chill out with my younger brother ( both get on like a house on fire) and I get to actually de stress from all the usual crap, drink copious amounts of tea, catch up with my mum and brother, and knit in peace until my heart is content.

Personally I think the break away from each other will do us both good, I have spoken to him and been in contact via text etc and already he seems in a better frame of mind. I think although it was hard to do I have done the right thing. I am hoping that he will think twice the next time he refers to my illness in such a derogatory manor!!

What would you have done? 

 

 

‘Hotter’ boots review

I was recently lucky enough to get my grubby mitts on a fabulous new pair of winter boots, but not just any old boots, a Hotter Shoes pair. In fact I was actually given the choice of what I would like to try.

I had a good old look on their Hotter website were there are loads of different styles on offer, not just shoes but with winter coming lovely winter boots too. Hotter Shoes offer ‘The Comfort Concept’ that ranges from the cushioning, the super soft leather and flexi grooved soles so they are non slip.

Ok I will admit that some of their designs are probably for the more ‘mature’ audience however DO NOT LET THAT PUT YOU OFF!!

On closer inspection they have some beautiful classy on trend pumps, heels, ankle boots and full length boots- all offering the same cushioning and support as their more ‘sensible’ designs.

I chose the Mystery  boot  to try. For me I struggle to wear any sort of heels as I suffer with severe muscular pain in my ankles due to my M.E/CFS, so for me the idea of the cushioning in the soles/heel was a huge draw.

They came well packaged and protected and I couldn’t wait to try them on. Now I don’t want to shatter your illusions but I do not have ‘the’ model figure and although my thighs are on the thunderous side I actually have ‘little chicken legs’ below the knee. So inevitably this happened when I tried the boots on……..

Yes they slightly gaped at the top *does a sad face*

However, as many of you know I’m a bit of a knitaholic, so I quickly knitted up a lovely pair of ‘boot toppers’ to fill the gap!!! Yes knitted boot toppers……………..do not knock before you try people. Then this is what they became…………..

See………….they make all the difference!

To be honest I think I prefer them with the toppers anyway. But that aside I have to say the cushioning in the heel is no lie, amazingly it feels as though your feet just sink into them.

Now I haven’t had a great deal of time weather wise to wear them yet but on the several occasions I have got to wear them I have had them on my feet ALL DAY!! They were comfortable, cushioned and warm, and the leather itself is soft. I do think as my ankle pain worsens over the winter ( as it always does) these boots will help with both the built in cushioning and the soft sole that is also non slip.

On chatting to a friend about them she confessed that she has actually been buying Hotter Shoes for a long time and in fact the pair she had on looked like a pair of flats on first glance but was actually a lovely wedged pump shoe!

Since getting my boots I have taken a longer and more detailed look through their website and brochure and found several pairs of ranging from a beautiful pair of pumps that would look great with thick tights and skirt and some ankle boots that would look fab with my jeans. If they are all as comfy as the boots I was sent then I will be ordering soon.

 

DISCLOSURE- the boots were sent free of charge for review purposes, however all words and thoughts are my own

 

 

 

 

 

 

Energetix Magnetic Jewellery Review- M.E Related

THIS IS NOT A SPONSORED OR PAID POST

I was at a craft fair about a month or so ago as a stallholder myself. There was another stallholder there selling these Energetix items all related to health and well being. My friend who came to visit me bought something for her aunt and came to tell me about the stall itself.

At the end of the fair I went over and took a look at what she had to offer. It was all health related that claimed to help people with all sorts of health problems including M.E1 This is what caught my interest having been diagnosed over 4 years ago. She told me a story about a family member who used to take 8 Tramadol a day ( the same as me) and now has cut down to almost none!! As you can imagine she got my interest.

Anyway speaking to her for a little longer I was able to obtain a bracelet to try for review purposes. I was told I could wear it all the time except in the shower. As you can imagine after 4 years of constant muscular pain I would try anything……………..and I MEAN anything ( even if it meant running up my street nude………………ok that’s pushing it a little). She advised that I should try it for around 21 days and then see if I had noticed a difference.

So on went the bracelet and I waited. However, after 24hrs of wearing the bracelet I got the most horrendous migraine- NOT A GOOD START! So off came the bracelet and a day later I tried again……………and on came the migraine!! So for the second time I took the bracelet off and so far was NOT impressed. But I’m a trier if nothing else ( my OH says I’m very trying) so on went the bracelet for the 3rd time.

This time NO migraine!! Nothing at all, not a snifter of any pain in the head. A good sign I thought. Since then I have worn the bracelet ALL the time except when in the shower. So, over a month down the line have I noticed any difference?

Well to be brutally honest………….YES I think I have!!

This has sort of shocked me a little. I have had days where I haven’t needed to take my full quota of 8 Tramadol and Paracetamol cocktail. This is a good thing for me as I would love to come off all the pills altogether, so taking less, even on a few days, is a huge bonus!! Now with all alternative remedies not everyone will have the same results as what works for one does not always work for everyone.

 

This is the one she gave me to try – however the jewellery comes in all shapes and sizes!

She also had some helpful literature with her:

So how does it work I hear you cry? ( C’mon play the game people)

This is what the literature says:

How do magnets work?

Powerful Neodymium magnets worn near a pulse point stimulate the blood cells, therefore passing oxygen and nutrients around the body more efficiently in turn, releasing a natural anti-inflammatory, Cortisol, resulting in the alleviation of symptoms of many common ailments.

As a result, toxins are removed therefore reducing the chemical imbalance which is often the cause of discomfort

Like I said at the beginning this was not a commissioned post, it’s just a product that I came across and was able to have a try. For me I hope the bracelet continues to do what it is doing for me and only time will tell. But for a person who suffers relentless muscle pain any reduction of pain/ sickness/ medication can only be a good thing!

This is the link through to the lovely lady Nikki that I dealt with www.nikkip.energetix.tv

Lost in London…….aged 11 yrs!!!!

No not a story about me as the 11 yr old but my own son.

Monday saw us heading back up town for another audition (remember my youngest is a ‘luvvy’ at heart and wants to be an actor). Anyway this really is nothing out of the ordinary for us. A short notice call a few days before with address details (normally quite obscure tiny offices in London’s backstreets) so we headed off as normal.

Audition done and return journey in process until…………….

Yes we went to get on a tube when my son walked on and the doors closed!!!! Leaving me on the platform…………OK PANIC NOW.

So told screamed at the guard that my son was on his own only to realise the tube he got on was going in the wrong direction that we were going! CAN THIS GET ANY WORSE??

Again the guard seemed a bit too chilled for my liking when he said I should go to the operations room WTF????? No you take me there and bloody tell someone my 11yr old son is on the tube going in the wrong direction…….EXCUSE ME IS ANYONE LISTENING TO ME ( i’m the mad shouting, hysterical lady crying down the phone to her husband telling him she has lost her son!!!- I know not a pretty sight)

However, by the time we got to the operations room they then had to calm me down to tell me they had my son at the next station with the guard!!!! OMG OMG OMG

So went back down to platform and got on next tube, still bawling my eyes out ( what a bloody picture) with people looking at me as though I was a complete loon (understandable I think).

Turned up at the next station and burst into tears again as my son came up and gave me a huge hug!!!

He was calm, and I asked him what he did.

‘Well I thought I would get off at the next station and wait for you to come along. But a nice young man offered to get off at the station with me and tell the guard what had happened’ ( there are some nice people out there! but we still warned him afterwards of the dangers).

So 11 yr old is calm, and 41 yr old mum is a complete wreck?????

He told me that he wasn’t panicked but he was worried about me because he knew I would be having a meltdown- talk about role reversal!

Anyway, all’s well that ends well and all that. For me I don’t think I have ever been so stressed in all my life. My M.E is affected considerably with stress and for the last few days I have been unable to do anything or eat properly so I know that is definitely the fallout from Monday!

However, everything happens for a reason and now we have at least got a contingency plan- if separated go to the next station and the other will follow!!