The Favourite – film review

Ok, so I haven’t been the quickest off the mark to go and see The Favourite and obviously saw that Olivia Coleman had won the Oscar for her role as Queen Anne.

I do however, with regards to cinema, like to let all the fuss die down before going on a quieter afternoon to allow myself to fully enjoy ( or not) whatever film it is at the time, without all the residual underlying noise of a full cinema……yes I’m one of those people! There are only a few films I will book to see on the opening weekends for fear of spoilers hitting me from Twitter and elsewhere.

So, let’s get the obvious out of the way now……………Olivia Coleman is outstanding  ( no shit Sherlock!) and she is compelling to watch. She’s always been pretty underrated for my liking ( I feel the same about James McAvoy just so you know) she has a total naturalness about her in any role she plays, but it’s so much more obvious in this film. It never seemed forced in any way from her throughout.

In fact, all 3 main females are strong in this film. That said I felt that Rachel Weisz the absolute glue that stuck the film together, she was sharp, ruthless and able to switch temperaments in a split second for full effect of her character. Her character was menacing but without force, just a slight change in the tone here and there and you literally didn’t know how far she’d actually go. The director Yorgos Lanthimos has a feel for showing the strong power dynamics of relationships and I loved that all 3 characters were entangled showing the underlying skulduggery that was typically present in those times in order to keep favour in court. Read more

Confidence- where to find that stuff and how to get some!

I think most people, if asked, would doubt their own abilities in most things, we never really say out loud what we think we are good at- do you agree?

I was never a confident person by nature, I hid from photos as a teen, I always felt like I was the ugly duckling of my group of friends and was always very quiet in social situations ( unless I was at home, in which case my Mum would vouch for the fact I can be a mouthy cow!).

However, when I look back I had the confidence to join the armed forces ( Royal Air Force- literally 30 years ago when it definitely wasn’t the norm to do so), to leave the security of my family at aged 18 and pushed myself to do things I literally had no clue I could do ( shoot an automatic weapon, do gas mask drills in confined spaces with the unmistakable effects ‘tear gas’ , being dangled out of search and rescue helicopters as a ‘patient’ and even wing walking, twice, one of which was at an international air display!).

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No big New Years resolutions here

I’m no spring chicken at 48 years old, and I have done my time over the years at making new years resolutions only to last a few weeks and fall right back into the habits of a lifetime, but with the added bonus of feeling like a failure to boot – and that’s before I now factor in a chronic illness that sees me deal with constant pain every day. I’ve certainly learned over the past 10 years of dealing with illness and pain that I have very little control of how my body will be from day to day. It eats away at any control you have over life in general, on a daily basis, let alone factor in dramatic new years resolutions like joining a gym, or getting out running or even walking for that matter. Any activity I do has a huge knock on affect that impacts what I will be able to do either later that day or for a few days after.

So this year, as with the last previous few years, I have opted for very small changes across the year that then accumulate to make a bigger change overall, without putting any pressure on myself or creating unnecessary anxiety. The changes are very small steps that creates a bit of a ripple into the year, and yet they can be totally achievable even with a chronic illness. So there will be no big New Years resolutions here.

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The inevitable Christmas overwhelm

As I sit here writing this I am still  feeling the affects of drinking way too many cocktails at a Christmas party last night, and I am watching White Christmas for the very first time!

 

It’s the ultimate Christmas cliche isn’t it? Christmas parties, festive hangovers and idyllic lazy afternoons watching Christmas films and feeling like its just ‘the most wonderful time of the year’. However, what you don’t see is the inevitable Christmas overwhelm that I have now come to expect every year. My husband loves Christmas and says it’s his favourite time (and day) of the year………………..well I mean you would wouldn’t  you if you if it literally landed on your lap with virtually no effort whatsoever! That’s how it is most years, I sort ALL the presents (even for all his side of the family), I sort everything we get for our boys, I organise all of the food and treats………Oh and then I obviously cook dinner most years ( although thankfully I am not this year as we are at the in laws on the day). That generally leads to an annual Christmas meltdown for me at some point, normally fairly close to the big day, when I realise I haven’t got everything I need, haven’t wrapped anything and realise I haven’t got something we need for the actual dinner. Anyway you get the general picture.

Yet on good ‘ol social media everyone is literally Christmassing the shit out of life, putting their decs up as early as possible, having all their pressies wrapped by December 1st and their food order slot booked, and so can sit smugly back and take time for themselves to get their Christmas nails done, order their party dresses enjoy the wonderful festive season in all it’s glory.

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What to buy older teenage boys for Christmas

What to buy older teenage boys for Christmas

I’ve specifically done this list of what to buy older teenage boys for Christmas because I have 2 boys myself. Therefore, I only have real experience of buying for them.

Anything I have suggested here I have bought my teens through the years or I know of friends who have bought their boys similar. Secondly, none of it has been sent to me to be promoted, so any companies I mention here I have actually used or bought from them over the last 9 or10 years.

I also think that teen boys are much harder to buy for than girls. Probably because I don’t have girls myself. I imagine with clothes, perfumes and makeup and jewellery most things can be covered for girls. Certainly a designer item could certainly be covered as a main Christmas present. I fully appreciate I could totally be wrong about this too. But I have only experience in buying for boys in this house and so I think that is where my expertise lies.

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Does losing weight mean I am fatphobic?

This is a post that has been rattling around in my head for some time now as I think about my own weight loss. Any regular followers of my blog or Instagram will know that between in 2016 I joined Slimming World and lost almost 3 stone in weight by the middle of 2017. It wasn’t an easy task and obviously with having chronic illness and chronic pain I had to do it with food alone as I cannot conventionally exercise ( before my illness I used to go running 3 times a week). The weight had crept on over a long period of time and was a combination of my lack of being able to exercise, reaching for the sugary foods for a quick energy boost, and also my age. I have since kept that weight off for well over a year now and feel much better in myself having changed my eating habits for the better. Yes I still have the coffee and cake meet ups with friends, meals out every now and then, and also nights out drinking on occasion and I do all of these with absolutely no guilt attached. I am thankful I do not have the emotional connection to food that some others have and therefore don’t turn to food when I am stressed, or tired, or upset etc.

However, recently I have seen more and more people talking about, and living their life by, the whole ‘ body positivity’ approach and encouraging others to do so as well, and I love this mind set and approach to life and I also follow quite a few accounts that promote this on a daily level. But it has made me stop and think………….does the fact that I have actively lost weight and feel better about myself for doing so now make me fatphobic?

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Parent tips for preparing your teen for their first year at uni

Parent tips for preparing your teens for their first year of uni

My son is now in his 3rd year at uni ( he still has another year to complete) and I have picked up a few helpful tips along the way on how parents can prepare their teens for their first year of uni.

I was in your shoes a few years ago worrying myself to death about how he was going to cope at uni, cook for himself, budget his money and ultimately not get himself into any awful situations or get hurt!! ( I know,  but c’mon they are our little babies after all).

So having learned some things along the way I thought I would share my wisdom to either save you a crap load of money ( no they really do not need everything AND the kitchen sink) or reassure you that your little baby will be just FINE!

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Biggin Hill Festival of Flight Air Show 2018

Biggin Hill airport is literally 30 minutes from where we live and yet in the 22 years we have lived here we have never gone to the airshow. We are both ex RAF (it’s where we both met) and love this sort of thing and have often been to Duxford Imperial War Museum and other similar places when we are on holiday.

This year was no different, to be fair, until a friend said she had booked tickets to go and so we jumped on their band wagon and booked tickets literally the day before we went. The planned displays sounded good and my friend, who has always wanted to see the Red Arrows display, was excited to hopefully see them.

The weather when we arrived was pretty rubbish with fairly low cloud, and although the forecast was to improve, we weren’t holding out much hope for the Red Arrows display ( I’m ex air traffic control………….so have a fair idea of judging whether they can display or not). Although they took off to display at Eastbourne they were quickly returned due to the weather. Fortunately for us their planned display was not until the end of the day so we just kept our fingers crossed.

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So, what’s next for Mrs B?

I’ve certainly been asking myself that for a while now. I’m a mum of 2 boys but they are now 20 and 17 (almost18), finding their own independence, as one is at uni and the other is at 6th form and also working a part time job. I have been married for 24 years and my hubby is a shift worker so that means I now spend the majority of my time alone! Due to my illness and chronic pain I’m no longer able to work a conventional job (I was a driving instructor), but I’m lucky that blogging and running social media accounts can be done in pj’s even on a bad day if necessary.

Yet when the boys where younger my life was busy (illness or not) with after school clubs, kids parties, meeting up with friends in the holidays etc, and although I am still officially a taxi service, a cook and a bank, my life is much more subdued. That in itself gives you time…………………..LOTS of time! Time to ponder and think about your own role in life. Yes I am still a wife and a mum but I am also ME. So, with 48 looming very quickly (and my hubby turning 50 last year!) I am starting to think about my time. How do I want to spend my time now my kids are off doing their own thing most of the time? Read more

Welcome to my new little corner of the web

Welcome to my new little corner of the web.

Those of you that know me from Mum in Meltdown will know I haven’t written on there for a long time as I simply fell out of love with that site. Each time I went on there it became apparent I had out grown  the Mum in Meltdown label. My boys are no longer younger teens (which was my main focus on that blog) and no longer happy to be talked about………..which is absolutely right and understandable.

So I deliberated for a long time not quite knowing whether to continue blogging………..I mean what the hell was I going to write about. I blogged the teenage years because it’s an absolute brutal minefield that will send you right over the edge on countless occasions. Yet, at the same time I was engaging with people in the same boat, going through the same struggles and therefore, it made me feel……………..well, almost normal.

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