finances

A letter of apology to my teens

- TracyB 2 Comments

This has been on my mind the last few years but hit hard this year especially.

I would like to apologise to my teens for NEVER being able to take them away on a nice summer holiday like most parents, somewhere in the sunshine abroad.

They are now 17 and almost 15 years old, and I found the holidays much easier in a way when they were younger. We had days in the park with friends, beach days, garden days with friends and we have done a few years camping in the UK which we have all enjoyed.

Our only ‘proper’ family holidays were courtesy of my Mum who for 2 years running in ’07 and ’08 took us all away to Florida to do all the Disney parks and attractions and we all loved those holidays and still talk about them now, as they are normally a ‘once in a lifetime’ holiday that a lot of people never get to do, so in that respect we were extremely fortunate that my Mum footed the bill both times.

Before I was diagnosed with long term illness 6 years ago , I was self employed as a Driving Instructor with a healthy part time business that I was hoping to expand when the boys went to secondary school. However, having to give up work obviously has taken it’s toll financially and so things like holidays etc are not even on our radar. For this I feel personally responsible, as my OH works hard and brings in a decent wage however, on top of a mortgage and normal bills teenagers can be expensive when they eat you out of house and home, outgrow clothes etc at an alarming rate and obviously keeping them entertained is a LOT more expensive than toddlers.

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Financial Haemorrhaging!

- TracyB 4 Comments

That’s certainly what it feels like this month ( and last month). Now I know we are not the only one’s in this predicament and that there are lots of people a lot worse off than we are.

However, it is difficult to stay positive and not panic when you bank balance literally disappears before your eyes. This month alone has been my youngest’s birthday. Something I normally budget for and this year although I frugally sourced everything it still was difficult to cover. That was because we had so many things to pay for!! There is no other way to say it but we just had loads to pay for!!

So on top of the birthday we had……

*£90 for drama term for youngest.

*£40 for an Explorer weekend camp my eldest really wanted to go on.

*£90 to have my poor ‘Gorgeous George‘ cremated after a shock unplanned pet death.

*£15 for a 1/2 day Geography school trip.

*£20 towards expenses for my eldest’s PE trekking trip.

*£70 for a boiler service.

*£150 for my OH’s motorbike service and MOT.

Ok, so we have not yet overdrawn and I know a LOT of people live via their overdrafts. That is just something I couldn’t do. I wouldn’t sleep ( or get even less than I get now!).However, we have no savings to dip into either. At the end of the day we always pay what’s owed, then live on what’s left. I am extremely frugal with food and have recently made the leap to Aldi where I have found we have been saving at least £10 a week easy, if not much more, on our food bills.

But then there is NO extra!! I mean none!! I don’t go out except for the odd coffee and catch up with friends. My OH never goes out- ever!! He works hard, tries to get as much overtime as possible and then comes home. He never moans about it, that’s just what he does. The kids earn their pocket money by doing chores- it’s not just handed to them.

I’m left feeling worse about not working. Regulars will know I have M.E and this week alone I have been unable to do anything- I mean anything! I have been hit with exhaustion that has made it difficult to function, shower and make dinner- let alone anything else.

If I worked I could help financially, I could relieve the pressure and possibly make things easier. But I cant!!! It’s so frustrating. Frustrating beyond words.

And so I now look towards next month and the run up to Christmas. Thank goodness we pay into a ‘Christmas Club’ via family, it means we get get our money back in November in plenty of time to organise Christmas.

Then I hear people saying hey are going out, going for a weekend away, buying new clothes, going for meals etc and just wonder……….HOW DO THEY DO IT?

I REPEAT……………..HOW DO THEY DO IT??????

 

Money- can you manage it?

- TracyB Leave a comment

I like to pride myself on being good with money. I can make a small amount go quite far when it ids required. I can prioritise what is desperate and what I can leave for just that little bit longer. This includes making the food bill stretch, when necessary and paying all the necessary extras, such as the kids after school clubs and finding alternative ways to entertain the boys without spending a fortune!

I have had to become like this since it was necessary to give up work after being diagnosed with M.E 4 years ago. Going back to one wage, with a hefty mortgage and two growing boys meant a real cut back on almost everything. The last time we had a credit card was when we were going through our major house renovation when we slightly overspent and ended up with around £1500 left to pay off on the card after our loan was used up. This took us a long while to eventually pay off, but we managed it by severely cutting back, doing without a lot of things. It was a sacrifice I’m glad we made as I haven’t got that depth of money worries keeping me awake a night. Since then we have never taken out another as it was too easy to keep adding £30 here and £50 there when we felt like it.

Now the only things we owe on is our mortgage and our car. Other than that we live on a ‘if we haven’t got the money we don’t buy it’ basis. This can be much easier said than done to be honest, there are times when watching every penny can grind you down and you think I just need a blow out of some sort. We are very lucky as both my mum and my in-laws are VERY generous when it comes to helping us out if we find ourselves in a tight financial spot but  I can imagine that this is not the case for everyone and therefore a credit card with all the low interests rates becomes an attractive alternative. In that respect I consider myself extremely lucky.

We are a family that does not care about big brand/ designer names in clothes or our house. I am a firm believer in not paying over the odds for anything and there is nothing better than a good old shop around, especially online, to find a bargain and still look nice and have a nice home without the designer price tag. My kids always come first so if they need clothes, shoes, clubs paid for, then I will sort that first. Neither of my boys have gone on a secondary school trip and my eldest is in yr10. However, they are jsut completely out of our reach. As a family we go camping as a cheap way of affording a holiday. When away we don’t tend to eat out and I will take all the necessary food and treats with us. My boys who are now 12 and 15 are very understanding and have become bargain hunters themselves ( never paying full price for a console game and buying pre owned) again being careful with their money.

However, for some people they just cannot resist and rely solely on their flexible friends to get the what they want. This can quickly build up over several cards and before they know it they really are in VERY deep. For others, it could be the situation they find themselves in, for example, a relationship break up, a loss of a job or partner and literally having no one else to turn to for help, they become reliant on credit because they need to feed themselves and their kids.I have noticed lots of money lending and quick money adverts on the TV recently and for some this can be the quick solution instead of finding a long term one.

A persons debt can be an extremely stressful thing to acknowledge without the proper advice could be difficult to face alone. Sometimes the right advice can be all that’s needed to get a persons financial status back on track. Like I say I’m fortunate enough to have family help if needed but some people have no one and get locked in a downward spiral of borrowing more and more to get them through. So get the proper debt management information for your situation in order to make the changes you may need.

 HOW DO YOU PRORITISE YOUR FINANCES?

ARE YOU A BARGAIN HUNTER OR A DESIGNER ADDICT?

**DISCLAIMER: this post comes to you in collaboration with Debt free Direct.