Today my eldest son did the nervous walk to school to find out his results and ultimately if he was going to get to go to uni or not.
I really feel for the kids today as they seem to be under so much more pressure that we ever were at that age at school. Pressure from the school, pressure from their peers and even sometimes pressure from their parents.
Neither my husband or I went to university, my hubby went straight from school into a job working in a photographic lab, then on to the MOD and from there into the Royal Air Force ( where we met) and then for the last 20 yrs he has been in the Met Police………….not a bad career for someone with virtually no qualifications. I left school and did a Youth Training Scheme ( YTS- remember those….I am very old you know) as a teacher’s assistant before joining the Royal Air Force, I then worked for the London Ambulance service for many years before having my boys and leaving work. When they got older I trained to become a Driving Instructor which I did before my illness took over……….again not too bad for leaving school with only 5 O levels, although I do have 2 A levels which I did at night school while I was still in the Air Force.
Ok so before all you teachers instantly take offence to that I will openly say I do not think secondary teachers are paid enough for what they have to deal with and I could not for all the money in the world even contemplate teaching teenagers!! I appreciate you all have several classes with probably 30 moody, whingy, bolshy annoying teens in every class driving you to complete distraction getting on your last nerve at times…………….. I repeat I COULD NOT DO THAT JOB.
That said, when it comes to your own child and you can see him being persecuted for being fidgety, talking, moving, getting distracted and distracting others. Now I am not a mother who sees her children as little angels, I am fully aware that my 15 year old son is ‘high maintenance’, loud, demanding and can drive me to total distraction on a daily basis, so I do appreciate how that could be a pain in the arse to deal with in a class of 30 kids. So when the said child does not change over the years, finds it hard to focus and is the king of ‘low level disruption’ but is generally a very likeable boy surely some alarm bells would be ringing from the school side of things?
This has been a stressful time waiting on these. Not that my son has seemed stressed in any way shape or form. He has had full confidence in himself which is a good thing. But as a parent we know the pitfalls, we have been in that position ourselves and we generally want our kids to do better than we did.
Our son just wanted to get back into his schools 6th form ( I think it is totally ridiculous that they don’t automatically get a place- but that could be my age showing). That meant he needed an average of B’s across the board on a points system. There is so much pressure on the kids at school today not just from school but in a lot of cases from parents as well.
We have had several chats with my son along the way and said whatever he gets and whatever the outcome there will always be a solution. My actual words were ‘ If you don’t get the points and grades you need for 6th form it really isn’t worth throwing yourself on a train track over it’. Ok may sound a little harsh but you do hear of the stories of the students who feel they are failures just because they didn’t get A*’s in every subject.
It’s 11+ tests tomorrow and I don’t know who’s more nervous…….mum and dad or the son who’s taking it!!!
We have a 13 yr old who has already gone through this who comfortably passed his and attends a really nice grammar school close by. This school is perfect for him as it is mixed and because he is a sensitive soul we thought it would be better for him. He loves it there ( as much as any boy ‘loves’ school!) and has made a great set of friends that from the beginning of year 7 to today in year 9 have all stuck by each other.
However, I think this makes it more difficult for the second child. He also wants to go to the same school as his brother, he has already had a look around and loves the drama department there ( as some of you may remember he is a budding ‘actor’!!). He is also a very capable child and has been in top sets for maths and literacy in junior school. But there is no guarantee that he will get through on the test!
He has worked hard towards it with his dad ( which we did with our older son) however, we have tried not to put too much pressure on him about it. Rightly or wrongly we never sent either of our boys to a tutor in order for them to pass. Any work they have undertaken over the summer has been worked through by my OH who seems to have the patience of a saint when it comes to school work!! We live on the border of Kent so the children can also apply to do the Kent 11+ too and I know some of the kids from his year have taken that on Saturday. He decided (just like my eldest) that he didn’t want to take this test as it would possibly mean that he would end up in a school out of our borough that he would have to travel to, and therefore lots of his friends would not be living close to him. So in the end we didn’t register him for that test as there would be no point sending him to a school he didn’t want to go to.
So now all his hopes are on the test tomorrow and Wednesday. He seems confident and we have confidence in him. But is it wrong to try and prepare him in case he doesn’t get through? That is what we have been doing. Trying to tell him it isn’t the end of the world if he doesn’t pass. It doesn’t make him any less capable than his brother. There is a lot of competition between them over the silliest of things so this really would cause a major upset!!
We certainly don’t want him to feel any sort of failure. We don’t want to be seen as treating him any different from his brother if he doesn’t get through.
So the next 3 weeks waiting for the results just won’t go quick enough!!! Talk about wishing your life away. As with his older brother we have told him that the letter will arrive and we will not open it as this will be his job when he gets home from school. ( What we won’t tell him is that we will have steamed the letter open at lunchtime when it arrives so we know the outcome before he gets his grubby mits on the thing!!)
And then the drama will start!! The next day at the school playground………….kids and adults alike all eager to hear if your child has passed or not!! Whispers behind peoples backs about the shock passes and ‘fails’ ( although no child at the age of 10 and 11 should be seen as a failure!!!) But that’s what it all comes down to with a lot of parents these days.
So on that note……
A HUGE GOOD LUCK TO MY SON AND ALL THE CHILDREN TAKING THE 11+ IN THE NEXT 2 DAYS
