A letter of apology to my teens

This has been on my mind the last few years but hit hard this year especially.

I would like to apologise to my teens for NEVER being able to take them away on a nice summer holiday like most parents, somewhere in the sunshine abroad.

They are now 17 and almost 15 years old, and I found the holidays much easier in a way when they were younger. We had days in the park with friends, beach days, garden days with friends and we have done a few years camping in the UK which we have all enjoyed.

Our only ‘proper’ family holidays were courtesy of my Mum who for 2 years running in ’07 and ’08 took us all away to Florida to do all the Disney parks and attractions and we all loved those holidays and still talk about them now, as they are normally a ‘once in a lifetime’ holiday that a lot of people never get to do, so in that respect we were extremely fortunate that my Mum footed the bill both times.

Before I was diagnosed with long term illness 6 years ago , I was self employed as a Driving Instructor with a healthy part time business that I was hoping to expand when the boys went to secondary school. However, having to give up work obviously has taken it’s toll financially and so things like holidays etc are not even on our radar. For this I feel personally responsible, as my OH works hard and brings in a decent wage however, on top of a mortgage and normal bills teenagers can be expensive when they eat you out of house and home, outgrow clothes etc at an alarming rate and obviously keeping them entertained is a LOT more expensive than toddlers.

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Oh my little blog how I have missed you……

I took a break, not a pre planned determined break but an impromptu, had no time or inclination to write sort of break all over the festive holidays. I was about on Twitter and Instagram and very occasionally on Facebook, but my little spot on the world wide web I completely stayed away from.

There was just so much going on to be honest and I applaud all of you who managed to cope with and enjoy the festivities and find the time to show your blog’s a little love! Anyway I did keep up with all your goings on via the other more instant platforms and loved seeing how you all enjoy the festive season with all your own little traditions and quirks.

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Have PR’s forgotten about teenagers?

I have definitely been thinking about this for a while now with regards to the blogging world.

It almost seems like companies and their PR’s are only interested in children under a certain age. Once they hit major the major teenage years it looks as though there are no need for reviews from any sort of company!

Yet I think this is an important part of the market. People are always talking online about their teens, how to engage them in activities with the family, how to occupy them over the school hols etc.

Gone are the days of walks in the woods, trips to the park and indoor craft days! Teenagers like technology, films, music, apps, online games, games for consoles all of which do not stop being interesting at the age of 12. So how do these products get reviewed, say games or films aimed at a 15 and above age group. Also, do companies then think that all teens do not want a day out with their family? Of course they do but they want a day out that is aimed at their age group, Theme parks, theatre shows, beauty and hair products, clothing, books,  films , tourist attractions or even restaurants such as TGIF’s etc that are aimed at the teenage and above market.

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Activities for Teenagers over the Half Term

 

Now when I say teens I don’t mean a 13 yr old with younger siblings, those teens are normally more than happy to engage in the family activities that their brothers or sisters like- a day at the park, walking in the woods, cooking/baking at home and Halloween crafts , bike rides and meeting up with friends while mums can grab a coffee and a natter and a bit of moral support!

But my eldest is 16 and has a younger 14yr old brother who is mature for his age and so thinks he is 16 himself. There are no younger siblings to occupy so we have moved on from planning every day to within an inch of it’s life and gone for a few planned things throughout the week with free time for the rest so they can either lounge in bed watching DVD’s or playing Xbox ( shoot me now for being a bad mother).

So as the net is saturated with activities for younger kids here is a few ideas that your older teens may enjoy (and you may earn some brownie points for).

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Something strange is occurring …

I say occurring as it is still happening. The phenomenon started almost a month ago now ( not that I’m counting or anything) and seems to have become the norm in our house. The very strange thing is that this phenomenon has never occurred before in our house, and when I say never I mean NEVER.

Oh I have heard of it of course but never actually experienced it first hand and was almost jealous of those who had. In fact I had resigned myself to the fact it would never happen and was open an honest about it.

So what is this phenomenon I hear you ask?

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Our week in Yorkshire

Again this year a beautiful hot sunny holiday abroad eluded us, in fact if it wasn’t for my mum even our yearly UK camping trip wouldn’t have taken place this year! Finances have been dire for one reason or another these last few months however, with a very handy loan from my mum our camping trip was back on.

This year we decided to go further afield than our usual south coast visits and Yorkshire seemed to be calling us. We found a great campsite near Pickering on an actual working farm which we absolutely adored. The farmer and his lovely wife could not have been more friendly or helpful throughout our week and the view from our tent was to die for.

Told you it was fab!
Told you it was fab

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1 family 2 funerals

1 family 2 funerals

This is the reason I have been so quiet lately. It also accounts for my Britmums Live post being so late!

For some reason everything seemed to happen all at once.

So either side of the week of Britmums Live was a bit mad. Mr B’s Nan had taken ill a week or so before so we had several trips up to the hospital to see her and helping out my MIL with dinners and washing etc as she had spent most of her time at the hospital. Then I get the news that my Nan had been taken to hospital!

But it wasn’t that simple just to pop to see her. She lives in Belfast and I’m in London so it’s not exactly round the corner. At that point they had only given her 24hrs to live. However, it was the same for Mr B’s Nan and she lasted a full 2 weeks.So with that in mind and knowing how quick the funerals take place over there I opted to wait and go to say my goodbyes at the funeral.

However, as it worked out Mr B’s Nan had already passed away and her funeral was arranged for the 25th of June. I spent the few days on the run up to and the time during Britmums Live waiting for the call to say my Nan had passed away. My week after the Britmums weekend consisted of:

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The trouble with………..

The trouble with………..

 

Long Term Illness

Is that from one day to the next you never know what it is going to throw at you! The last month has been unbelievably hard, my M.E symptoms have been flaring up.

The exhaustion I have had has left me in my pj’s most days until at least 3 or 4pm. The pain in my muscles has seen me put on new medication (that isn’t working) and generally feeling crap about everything including myself. I have found it difficult to be on here at all and have had no enthusiasm for it. But that is getting back to normal.

Mother’s Day with teens

Is that the presents change as I found out this year. I got my usual ‘little’ things that I love, mugs/ good coffee and other bits. But I also had a more unusual gift which looked initially like this

present ideas

present ideaspresent ideaspresent ideas

 

 

 

 

 

Are you getting the theme here?

But tucked inside was this……….a random Mother’s day potato! I’ve never laughed so much that I have at the randomness of this.

present ideas

 

 

The school holidays with teens

Is that they actually want to spend most of it in bed or in their rooms.

Now the late mornings I am not complaining about but the wasting of days I am. Gone are the days where I would have everyday planned out with them, activities, visiting, meeting with friends at the park etc.

Now they are teens, especially my eldest, he had some of his own things going on. He went out with friends to the cinema and bowling etc so a lot of the days were already planned. I do miss the old days but actually found this school holiday far more relaxing than previous ones. We did have the odd day out, Whitstable and Herne Bay -that sort of thing.

 

Whitstable
Me and my lovely boys!

 

We also had some great card game nights after my MIL taught my youngest a few new games when he stayed over for the night at their caravan.

So, there has been lots going on but I haven’t been that bothered about sharing it all until now.

I will get back into the flow of things and have missed reading all my regular blogs and my conversations on Twitter. But I have to admit the break has done me some good.

So will be churning a few more posts in the next few days about what has been going on around here like my eldest turning 16!

Now that’s another post

 

 

How to de-stress family car journeys

As most of you will know by now I have to teenage boys. Just because they are teens does not make car journeys any less stressful than with a journey with toddlers. I remember when they were little they always took books, colouring stuff, small toys. Then as they got older it was Gameboys, audio books and DVD’s and now that they are teens they automatically lift their headphones for their phones or Ipods etc.

One thing that is easier to deal with is the fact they have a concept of time so they know on a long journey not to ask ‘Are we there yet?’ They also know and understand they have to wait until the next service station to go for a pee rather than having to stop on the hard shoulder to pee in the bushes!! We also do our game of Yellow Car on long motorway journeys although I do tend to become a bit competitive with this one.But they have learned from an early age to bring stuff to amuse themselves.

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How you know your a mother of teenagers in the Half Term

I have been reading lots of posts this week about what you all have been up to keeping your young kids entertained over the half term. trips to the park, crafting, building dens, walking in the woods/ beach etc and I remember the days when each school holiday ‘day’ was planned to a tee!

We have never been flush with cash so it has always been keeping the kids entertained on a budget. We have done the beach days, picnics in or out depending on weather, friends for tea, meeting up at the park and so on.

But my boys are now teenagers! This brings a whole new way of looking at things. They are no longer ‘excited’ to go to a park or a walk in the woods or picnics or God forbid ‘crafting’! Those days are long gone and I can mourn for those all I want but it wont bring them back. I have to now embrace the teenage style holidays which in itself is another kind of torture.

So to prepare some of you for the years to come…..

Ways to know you are a mum to teenagers on holidays

* Your eldest is the one who makes your morning coffee

* Your teens of a certain age will stay up later than you can manage most evenings

* Your weekly food shop will  only last 3 days if your lucky

* The smell that hits you as you ‘take your life in your own hands’ to enter their rooms to check if they are still alive will knock you on your back and haunt your memory forever

* By the end of the day you have no idea how many extra bodies will be sleeping in your house

* Your life will totally depend on whether you let the bottles of Coke run dry!

* It doesn’t matter what you plan it will be met with a grunt- if your lucky

* Your expectation of any gratitude for feeding their friends, providing a free taxi service and having a ‘magic wallet’ full of money is no longer on your radar

* You become less of the organiser and more of the ‘payer’ when it comes to any arrangements

* You get immense joy from the fact you have secretly managed to get their bedding off, washed, dried and put back on while they were out and didn’t notice

There are many, many more but I will save those little gems for later. I used to let this worry me but not any longer. After talking to lots of mums I realise this is the world of the ‘teenager’ so it’s not something I have done wrong- it’s just LIFE!