Yes I am still here!

You may have thought I had given up on my little blog it has been so long since I have posted on here, but no, I am still here I have just been having a little break.

It’s not that I haven’t had anything to write about, there have been loads going on in the past few months in my little corner of the world, it is just the fact that I haven’t had the inclination to put it all on here, call it lack of blogging mojo but I have had a total break from my site although I have been active on my social media sites. Last night, however, I attended a lovely event down in Kent which got me back in touch with the blogging community. It was fun, it was nice to meet new people and get a bit of that missing blogging mojo back.

So, what has been happening while I have been away (and I do not mean the obvious political stuff that is all over social media at the minute). In my little bubble, I haven’t been active on here since attending a review for a local spa, which I have now joined myself and try and go there at least twice a week. I cannot tell you how relaxing it is using the heat rooms ( sauna and steam) there and how lovely that has been for my poor M.E/Fibro muscular pain.

There’s been 18th birthday celebrations for my eldest ( in April) before all the madness of his A level exams recently.

Read more

Amazing how differently your teen is treated by teachers when they find out about his almost certain ADHD diagnosis

Ok so before all you teachers instantly take offence to that I will openly say I do not think secondary teachers are paid enough for what they have to deal with and I could not for all the money in the world even contemplate teaching teenagers!! I appreciate you all have several classes with probably 30 moody, whingy, bolshy annoying teens in every class driving you to complete distraction getting on your last nerve at times…………….. I repeat I COULD NOT DO THAT JOB.

That said, when it comes to your own child and you can see him being persecuted for being fidgety, talking, moving, getting distracted and distracting others. Now I am not a mother who sees her children as little angels, I am fully aware that my 15 year old son is ‘high maintenance’, loud, demanding and can drive me to total distraction on a daily basis, so I do appreciate how that could be a pain in the arse to deal with in a class of 30 kids. So when the said child does not change over the years, finds it hard to focus and is the king of ‘low level disruption’ but is generally a very likeable boy surely some alarm bells would be ringing from the school side of things?

Read more

When your teenager can still surprise you…..

My youngest son is 15 going on 35 so mature for his age group and acts like he is an adult!

As most of you will know if you have teen boys they hit that point where they stop asking you every 5 minutes ‘what we are doing today?’ and hole themselves up in their bedrooms, curtains closed, headphones on with games controllers in their hands and either ignoring you or telling you to get out of their rooms.

This pretty much sums up my youngest for about the past year, where it has been pretty hard to get him motivated with anything. Then Sunday out of nowhere he comes down to the table in the lounge and sets up an area so he can make a model of a tank. Yes I know I thought I was hallucinating too! From 2pm he worked on it all day until around 9ish in the evening breaking only to have his dinner. To be bloody honest I don’t think I have witnessed him sit in one place for anywhere near that long before (even when he is gaming he is up and down stairs getting food and drinks).

Read more

School holidays with older teenagers means…………

*You no longer have every minute of everyday organised and planned to within an inch of it’s life, because even if you do bother to take the time to organise something for them not only would they not want to do it but they will probably have something ‘more important’ that they need to do- like gaming, sleeping or just generally ignoring you.

*You become even more fluent ( like a second language) in the grunting system they have in place for answering you, that is if they haven’t got their headphones on and cannot hear you anyway.

*You automatically turn into an ATM shelling out tenners like they are going out of fashion for the times they actually get out of bed and get dressed to go and see their mates to do something.

*You morph into a waitress in a cafe serving up bacon sarnies to ungrateful customers on a non ending rota working irregular hours for no pay.

*Your normal weekly shop, which would still not last a week with teenage boys, now only lasts 3 days if you are really clever and hide most of the cereal, chocolate, crisps and cakes.

*You have absolutely NO plates, cups, glasses or cutlery left in the cupboards as they will be all languishing in teenage boys rooms complete with rancid milk in bowls and fungus on the cutlery.

*You will still be equally amazed and appalled by the ‘teenage boy’ smell that you thought you had got used to but realise can actually get much worse when they spend a full week in there- I have NO WORDS for that smell!

*You become a 24hr taxi service on call, dropping off and picking up at a moments notice, yet they do not pay the going charges.

*You spend the week going to bed well before they do whilst asking them to keep the noise down when they are online with their mates shouting, laughing and joking whilst gaming.

I can only speak from experience of having boys, one of 15 and one 17 about to turn 18 very soon, I would like to think that girls would be different. The only good thing is that they actually sleep longer than me in the morning ( and that really is going some to beat me) so it means a week of no early mornings and a first coffee of the day in pure peace and quiet……………silver linings and all that!

Time for a teen room makeover

Time for a teen room makeover

My eldest son is about to turn 18 in April. In all fairness his room hasn’t been decorated as such since we had a whole house refurb about 7 yrs ago.

When we did the building work the boys went from sharing a room to having a room of their own. At the time we literally just split their bunk beds to make temporary singles for each room.

We kept the colours neutral so we could just easily change bedding/ curtains and posters or wall art to suit their changing tastes. This has worked very well up until now.

Now, as my son turns 18 we are looking to overhaul his room making it into a more adult looking space. There is plenty of room to fit a double bed which will be our priority. He is no longer a little boy but an almost 6ft young man and needs room to spread out. So definitely time for a teen room makeover.

Read more

‘Papa Don’t Teach’ – Would you teach your teen to drive?

Now if you asked me this a few years ago my answer would have definitely have been yes, that would have been because I was then working as a qualified Driving Instructor as a job and obviously had a suitable car which had duel controls. In fact it was something I was really looking forward too. I no longer work as a driving instructor due to my long term illness and so I am now looking at it purely from a parent’s point of view.

Therefore,if you ask me that question today, the answer is a resounding NO! In fact, just today I have booked him to start his lessons with a reputable company and instructor. Many of you will think this is madness to throw all that money away on lessons even though I feel I could teach him no problem but I would only do so in a suitable car with duel controls, believe me I speak from experience that learner drivers  try to kill you on a daily basis when they are only starting.

Read more

My teen gets an ASD diagnosis at 17

My teen gets an ASD diagnosis at 17

This is what we have been going through recently, my teen gets an ASD diagnosis at 17. My eldest has always shown Asperger traits throughout his growing up, but appeared  very high functioning. It has never been a major issue to him or us as parents to major degree but now looking back we both feel a lot more makes sense.

My teen gets an ASD diagnosis at 17

He noticed himself after being at secondary school for a year or so that he ‘seemed’  different to his friends. That’s also when his lack of management skills came into play big time and and we had a discussion with him then to see if he wanted to pursue it further and get a diagnosis. At that time he said no, he didn’t want to be labelled different or have any spotlight put on him and so we helped him alongside the school to help him with organisation.

It has also not hindered him in any way with friends, he has some great friends in the last few years that just accept him and his sometimes ‘odd’ ways and in fact it was one of those friends who encouraged him to go to his GP for help.

However, as he got older and then headed through the pressure of his GCSE’s it started to take it’s toll resulting in high levels of anxiety. We were totally unaware about it as he hid it very well under a laid back exterior. But this led to a period of  very low mood. This happened when he as a 16 years old. Encouraged by one of his friends he then made an appointment with his GP and went off to discuss his possible ‘depression’ before telling us that he had gone. He informed us that they were going to follow it up with a referral to our Children’s and Young Adults Mental Health clinic.

We have supported him in his decision fully and have found out from our consultations that this high anxiety and low mood is very common in undiagnosed, high functioning, ASD cases in teens. They get to a certain age and then start to feel socially awkward and uncomfortable in a time that is turbulent for most teens anyway. Therefore, this can lead to the high anxiety resulting in a secondary ‘depression’.

Read more

Brewers Fayre- Midweek Value and Autumn menu

Brewers Fayre- Midweek Value and Autumn menu

I will admit the only time I have used a Brewers Fayre is when I have stayed in a Premier Inn. It was a branch of the restaurant attached and each time we have been happy enough with the style of food and the choice offered.

Recently, in my local area a new Brewers Fayre has popped up next to a new hotel branch in Bexleyheath and I was lucky enough to get the chance to try out their menu.

In general there is a good varied choice of dishes available. But along side that there is a ‘midweek value’ style offer which allows you to get 2 mains off the list for £10.99, with the bonus of 2 starters for £2.50, and 2 desserts for £2.50.  Their fizzy soft drinks are also sold as a refillable option which offers amazing value when you have teenagers that eat and drink like adults. They also have added some new menu choices under an ‘Autumn range‘ throughout the main menu such as Cock- a – Leekie soup, Chicken and ham pie or even Smoked Haddock Florentine to name a couple.

Read more

My baby turns 15!

It feels like time is just spiralling out of control, there’s no brakes, no way of slowing it down to appreciate what is going on.

This week saw my youngest turn 15, now one of the oldest in his class. To be honest he’s like 15 going on 50 but that’s another story, however, his age now hits hard as he is my youngest, my baby so to speak. It seems like only last week we brought him home from the hospital and felt we had all the time in the world to appreciate him.

So what happens? We blink and they are teenagers, to old to be babied and not old enough to be an adult, yet they are like mini adults with their own personalities and strong views. I am now officially the smallest person in the house with the 2 boys towering over me, making me feel small and old!

Birthdays can make you nostalgic, look back with rose tinted glasses and feel as though you didn’t make the most of the time when they were young. Of course this is never true. They were hard work as babies, they took all of our time, we were up during the nights, nursed them when they were ill, praised every stage of their development and enjoyed all the different stages they have been through.

Read more

Rug Doctor to the rescue

I have been meaning to try one of these machines for ages especially for my youngest teens room as his carpet is in a pretty grim state, but it has ended up being a job I just procrastinated about rather than got on with.

So a few weeks ago I sent Rug Doctor a very cheeky tweet with a picture of my son’s excuse for a carpet to see if they would be up for a challenge! Unbelievably they responded immediately and emailed me with an offer to try one of their machines. So, I could procrastinate no more and it forced us into a complete clear out in my son’s room which was well overdue.

Disgusting I know!
Disgusting I know!

So the Rug Doctor carpet cleaner was delivered to my house complete with all sorts of cleaning sprays and the detergent to get started immediately. The very next day my husband was off work he went straight to work with the machine, which had clear instructions on how to use it actually on the machine itself and seemed fairly self explanatory. We just started with a patch in the room to see if we could see a ‘before’ and ‘after’ shot which I think you will agree shows an unbelievable improvement literally within minutes.

Read more