This has been a stressful time waiting on these. Not that my son has seemed stressed in any way shape or form. He has had full confidence in himself which is a good thing. But as a parent we know the pitfalls, we have been in that position ourselves and we generally want our kids to do better than we did.
Our son just wanted to get back into his schools 6th form ( I think it is totally ridiculous that they don’t automatically get a place- but that could be my age showing). That meant he needed an average of B’s across the board on a points system. There is so much pressure on the kids at school today not just from school but in a lot of cases from parents as well.
We have had several chats with my son along the way and said whatever he gets and whatever the outcome there will always be a solution. My actual words were ‘ If you don’t get the points and grades you need for 6th form it really isn’t worth throwing yourself on a train track over it’. Ok may sound a little harsh but you do hear of the stories of the students who feel they are failures just because they didn’t get A*’s in every subject.
A lot of events recently have seen me take a rosy, nostalgic look back at the past, my 20th wedding anniversary, my eldest turning 16 and taking his GCSE’s and soon to be a 6th former!
I cant believe how quickly the time goes and how we find ourselves wishing it away and then wanting it back to enjoy it for a bit longer. It really only seems like weeks ago that my eldest started school, he was so cute and dinky ( now a hairy, spotty teen!) that I almost forget that he was once that small.
Soooo cute!
When they start they almost seem to small/ young to be there and yet shockingly look so grown up in their tiny uniforms at the time. There have been so many changes over the years too, from being in ‘Infants’ and then into ‘Juniors’, a week long school trip away from home and then the 11+, and then the huge upheaval and transfer into secondary school. Now it’s all attitude, independence and exams.
One thing that hasn’t changed though is the school uniform, as I have boys it’s always been charcoal grey trousers and white shirts and neutral black shoes. Now anyone with boys know you tend to buy more than you think you will need ( because you WILL actually need it) and I would rather have too many shirts than not enough- boys tend to miss their mouths a lot! I have only ever bought my uniforms from one retailer as I have never had cause to go anywhere else. George at Asda have kept my boys well clothed for school at very reasonable prices with packs of 2 polo shirts starting at £2.50, packs of 2 shirts from £3 and trousers from £3. Both the shirts and trousers not only wash up well but go in the dryer week after week over the winter and have kept their shape and quality throughout. Their school trousers also have the fabulous invention of adjustable waists as both my boys are skinny malinkies and although need the leg length their waists fall a bit short when filling the trousers out.
All grown up at secondary school!
This year however, my eldest will be going back as a 6th Former ( still shocks me to say it *consoles myself with wine*) so he will be needing a suit instead. I am going to think of it as normal uniform though and buy accordingly ie: several pair of trousers and one jacket and about 7-8 mixed shirts to match ( yes even at 16 he misses his mouth!). To be honest most places now sell mix and match suits for that reason and so I think my first port of call will again be George at Asda hoping the quality will be similar to that of the uniforms I have bought over the years, we have already seen one that would suit him lovely in a navy pinstripe with slim leg trousers.
As always with uniforms the best time to buy them is literally as they finish this summer term as most retailers have their best deals on- 3 for 2 etc and I do like to get them sorted and out of the way so we can enjoy the rest of the summer holidays. My eldest this year has an extended summer break as he finishes after his exams……………. I think I will need to bulk buy a stash of wine and chocolate to cope…………….. or maybe just send him to stay at my mums for a while!
DISCLOSURE: this is a collaborative PR related article however all views and words are my own.
Is that from one day to the next you never know what it is going to throw at you! The last month has been unbelievably hard, my M.E symptoms have been flaring up.
The exhaustion I have had has left me in my pj’s most days until at least 3 or 4pm. The pain in my muscles has seen me put on new medication (that isn’t working) and generally feeling crap about everything including myself. I have found it difficult to be on here at all and have had no enthusiasm for it. But that is getting back to normal.
Mother’s Day with teens
Is that the presents change as I found out this year. I got my usual ‘little’ things that I love, mugs/ good coffee and other bits. But I also had a more unusual gift which looked initially like this
Are you getting the theme here?
But tucked inside was this……….a random Mother’s day potato! I’ve never laughed so much that I have at the randomness of this.
The school holidays with teens
Is that they actually want to spend most of it in bed or in their rooms.
Now the late mornings I am not complaining about but the wasting of days I am. Gone are the days where I would have everyday planned out with them, activities, visiting, meeting with friends at the park etc.
Now they are teens, especially my eldest, he had some of his own things going on. He went out with friends to the cinema and bowling etc so a lot of the days were already planned. I do miss the old days but actually found this school holiday far more relaxing than previous ones. We did have the odd day out, Whitstable and Herne Bay -that sort of thing.
Me and my lovely boys!
We also had some great card game nights after my MIL taught my youngest a few new games when he stayed over for the night at their caravan.
So, there has been lots going on but I haven’t been that bothered about sharing it all until now.
I will get back into the flow of things and have missed reading all my regular blogs and my conversations on Twitter. But I have to admit the break has done me some good.
So will be churning a few more posts in the next few days about what has been going on around here like my eldest turning 16!
I have been reading lots of posts this week about what you all have been up to keeping your young kids entertained over the half term. trips to the park, crafting, building dens, walking in the woods/ beach etc and I remember the days when each school holiday ‘day’ was planned to a tee!
We have never been flush with cash so it has always been keeping the kids entertained on a budget. We have done the beach days, picnics in or out depending on weather, friends for tea, meeting up at the park and so on.
But my boys are now teenagers! This brings a whole new way of looking at things. They are no longer ‘excited’ to go to a park or a walk in the woods or picnics or God forbid ‘crafting’! Those days are long gone and I can mourn for those all I want but it wont bring them back. I have to now embrace the teenage style holidays which in itself is another kind of torture.
So to prepare some of you for the years to come…..
Ways to know you are a mum to teenagers on holidays
* Your eldest is the one who makes your morning coffee
* Your teens of a certain age will stay up later than you can manage most evenings
* Your weekly food shop will only last 3 days if your lucky
* The smell that hits you as you ‘take your life in your own hands’ to enter their rooms to check if they are still alive will knock you on your back and haunt your memory forever
* By the end of the day you have no idea how many extra bodies will be sleeping in your house
* Your life will totally depend on whether you let the bottles of Coke run dry!
* It doesn’t matter what you plan it will be met with a grunt- if your lucky
* Your expectation of any gratitude for feeding their friends, providing a free taxi service and having a ‘magic wallet’ full of money is no longer on your radar
* You become less of the organiser and more of the ‘payer’ when it comes to any arrangements
* You get immense joy from the fact you have secretly managed to get their bedding off, washed, dried and put back on while they were out and didn’t notice
There are many, many more but I will save those little gems for later. I used to let this worry me but not any longer. After talking to lots of mums I realise this is the world of the ‘teenager’ so it’s not something I have done wrong- it’s just LIFE!
Maybe that isn’t the right thing thing to teach your teenagers to play poker ( but my 2 are both dab hands at Texas Hold ’em *coughs*)
But this is a different style of poker, more like poker stakes with a difference- no money changes hands!
I’m totally sick and tired of my two whinging, whining, woe is me teens. Honestly I don’t know how on earth I got to the ripe old age of………43 without them. It’s a total miracle that I have made it in one piece with their infinite wisdom. C’mon all you with teens will know- THEY KNOW EVERYTHING!!
Well here’s my Teenage Poker game :
* I ‘see’ your 700 channel, 24 hour on demand TV ( in your own room) remotely controlled so minimum of movement is required- and I ‘raise’ you a one telly per household, with an amazing 4 channels to choose from, with kids shows only available on certain times AND you had to get off your arse to change channel, adjust the volume and switch it on and off!!
* I ‘see’ your health and safety gone mad child safety toes including padding for everywhere for anything used on the move, trampolines with total surround safety nets and barriers to stop you getting even remotely close to anything that could possibly damage you precious little bodies- and I *raise* you the Pogo stick, metal adjustable skates that went on your shoes and homemade go carts with no brakes and a rope to steer! ENOUGH SAID
* I ‘see’ your named brand clothes that are a ‘must have’ where literally NOTHING costs less than £60 even though the ones you are wearing are absolutely fine and still fit- and I ‘raise’ you the 80’s fashions!!!! We have been scarred for life and we have the picture evidence to prove it.
* I ‘see’ your games consoles, laptops, Ipads, tablets and Iphones with everything at an instant touch of a button teaching you nothing but lack of patience- and I ‘raise’ you……….The Atari with the exciting Pong game!!! Graphics at it’s best LOL
* I ‘see’ your door to door on call chauffeur service to all your extra curricular clubs so your precious little legs didn’t get worn out and so are kept safe from all the horrible nastiness that is on our streets today – and I ‘raise’ you the if you cant walk there your not going and the the journey to school in an easily recognisable protestant uniform across town on the bus through a predominantly catholic area starting when I was 11 years old going to secondary school. I looked danger in the eye on a daily basis and still made it to my ripe old age!
* I ‘see’ your on your person 24hrs a day phone in touch with your friends and family wherever you are at any given moment- and I ‘raise’ you the one telephone household. A phone normally situated in the hall that had an attached receiver that stretched all of a metre if you were lucky and no privacy to talk what so ever- with everyone listening in to your conversation!
Therefore, I win hands down and if anyone should have Childline on speed dial then it should be US- your old, know nothing, haven’t lived parents.
As always in my house – nothing is ever done the easy way!
So half term was supposed to be a trip to my mum’s in Devon for me and the boys for most of the week as my OH was left at home working. By the end of the week just before half term the arrangements had altered to just me and my eldest visiting Devon.
My youngest did not have other arrangements, my OH had not taken the time off work………………so what changed?
Well, as always long story short, youngest was playing up all week and called me some totally unacceptable names, so I made the decision to leave him behind (not home alone obviously but at home with dad while he was there and then at his other nana’s when he was at work).
Not an easy decision though, but at the age of 13 I think I had to make the point that he cannot get away with the behaviour he had been sporting.
I have now been at my mums for two days so far and it has been a total chill out. No arguing, no complaining, no demanding and no ‘high maintenance’ attitude. It has been blissful. I have had no dinners to cook, no cleaning to do and generally no organising to consider. Like I said………..BLISS.
Me and my youngest son are VERY alike. We are headstrong, vocal and generally like to be in total control!! However, I think because we are so alike we had reached a stage where we both were in need of a break from each other.
In actual fact it has worked out great all round. He had a model to make for school which he spent 2 days with Dad working on it. He then gets to spend a day with his younger cousins at my MIL’s and then is going to help his Grandad sort his new IPod which he cannot use!! Therefore my son will get one to one time with him teaching him how to sort all his CD’s onto his IPod (that should make for interesting viewing). Then he will get another full day with Dad before we return.
In the meantime my eldest gets to chill out with my younger brother ( both get on like a house on fire) and I get to actually de stress from all the usual crap, drink copious amounts of tea, catch up with my mum and brother, and knit in peace until my heart is content.
Personally I think the break away from each other will do us both good, I have spoken to him and been in contact via text etc and already he seems in a better frame of mind. I think although it was hard to do I have done the right thing. I am hoping that he will think twice the next time he refers to my illness in such a derogatory manor!!
It’s that creepy time of year again where ghosts and ghouls come out to play.
I obviously cannot talk for everyone but I have always loved celebrating Halloween since having the boys. I have a gorgeous picture of them as little wizards when they are only about 5 and 3 years old. We always had a party with friends and their children and then we went out en masse for a bit of Trick or Treating! We have always used the kids as an excuse to have a party anyway.
Like any 12 yr old he jumped at the chance of getting his pressies early. So everything was set for the Sunday.
Pressies in the morning,
His birthday treat ( a Young Driver lesson)in the afternoon – will do a post on this another time!
His birthday meal at his fav Indian restaurant in the evening.
To say he had a great day was an understatement! His driving lesson was a real surprise and a huge hit. We were able to enjoy a full day all together. I was so glad he made the decision to enjoy it early as the Monday was a complete washout- OH at work and youngest at school, OH was late in and we didn’t do his cake until almost 9pm!!! However, he had quite a few visitors bringing him more cards etc so he was still centre of attention ( generally what he craves anyway).
So now he has had the experience the Queen has every year- 2 birthdays!
Now over a week later I’m thinking I may not survive this this one’s teenage years if the last few days are anything to go by……………..
How to ensure your kids stay safe when they’re online
The internet is a very useful tool to help your kids develop. Whether they need help with homework, talk to their friends from school or just play, they can just log on to the computer or tablet, but steering clear of danger is something that doesn’t always enter their thoughts. A session of carefree browsing might seem fun, but clicking on the wrong page could do a lot of harm.
If you have young children, you might feel it’s necessary to watch their every click. While this can be useful in case they click on something by mistake that you won’t want them to see, it’s impossible to do this all the time, especially as they get older. To avert any problems such as clicking on a pop-up ad by mistake or talking to someone they shouldn’t, here are some handy tips:
Select a list of sites they can visit
As a mum to an 13 and 15 year old, I am extremely concerned about the things they view on the net, but I’m aware that I have to loosen the restrain as they mature into their own and trust that they’ll be safe even when unsupervised. If unlike me, you have younger kids then it’s best to limit them to only visiting a handful of sites in the ‘favourites’ column of your web browser. When mine were little our computer was downstairs in our kitchen at a workstation and so I did find it easier to monitor. However, now with Iphones, tablets and laptops I can see how easy it can become for them to have more ‘freedom’.
By slowly introducing them to the wonders of the web, you can show them more interesting sites as they get older. That way, you won’t have too much to worry about when you feel they’re ready to browse without you watching over them. We started with the CBeebies and Nickelodeon sites which were firm favourites. As my eldest got older it moved on to Club Penguin and Minecraft.
However, once they start secondary school and approach their teens, your kids might want to create a social media account. You should tell them about how it works, and if you’re on the same site as them, add them as friends or follow them to see what they’re up to, just to give you peace of mind. When they started on Facebook one of the rules was that they had to be friends with both myself and my OH. That way we could easily keep track of what they were doing on there. Our reasoning being, there is no need to be embarrassed about what was being said and therefore there would be less secrets. They know we occasionally check on their timeline just to make sure they are being ‘appropriate’. My OH is also a policeman and so has always made them aware of the possible dangers of chat sites and online gaming such as Xbox etc. We also have rules in place with the gaming and my youngest who has just turned a teenager yesterday has yet to be registered on his!
I think it’s all about being sensible as a parent, if you are able to build up trust with the older kids whilst allowing them to make some of the decisions you are at least on the right track. With younger kids it’s all about the security precautions you can impose without them being aware.
DISCLOSURE:This is a Collaborative PR related article
Recently I have been reading and envying all the latest posts about keeping the kids entertained over the summer break. I used to do the same. List all the things we wanted to do and all the places we wanted to visit, arrange meeting up with friends for picnics in the park, swim afternoons, beach visits. But teenagers and summer holidays is a whole different ball game.
My boys are now 15 and 12 years old, and with ALL the will in the world I cannot get them enthused about anything. Bbviously Xbox is not included here. I’m aware that the age they are now they like to lay in occasionally, have lazy telly mornings and later nights. But really what the hell am I going to do over the holidays?
I cannot let them fester in their rooms all day. I know they prefer to manage themselves, even if it means just watching telly or playing on their phones or whatever they do whilst they lounge about in their bedrooms. The mere mention of going to a park or a walk somewhere sends them into meltdown mode. Things like cinema/ bowling/ Go Ape etc all cost lots so would only do occasionally.
So, I’m frantically looking for options.
We have booked a week away camping in the Isle of Wight in August.
Actually they are both looking forward to this as they went there with their primary school on their Yr6 trip. So, although we have booked the campsite, we are leaving the holiday up to them.
We have the guide books and they know pretty much the places they want to visit over there (inc the hotel that they stayed in ). So this week away should be great for all of us, even with their continuous bickering. To top it all off we are NOT, I repeat, NOT on a budget this time. After I had a little radio win in May I have purposely kept plenty of spending money!
Mr B will be working as normal on shifts throughout the summer so there will be days when he is here with us and others were he wont. The days he is not here are perfect lazy days or cinema days that will fit in with my chronic illness. However, when he is here I would like us to actually DO something rather than waste the 5-6 weeks.
So apart from the normal having friends over for xbox and a sleepover I’m manically trying to sort ideas that wont cost the earth. But also things that they actually want to do. There is absolutely no point forcing them to do stuff they don’t want to as no one ends up enjoying the day.
My list so far:
* Groupon have a great offer on for tickets to Horrible Histories Live in London ( still a pay out but def worth doing for a major treat)
* Thinking of possibly one of those Cineworld monthly tickets. Anyone tried these and are they worth it?
* Eldest has already arranged to go stay in Plymouth at my mums as my brother lives there and they spend days walking the moors!
* Fishing with the youngest while the eldest is away……youngest loves it and eldest detests it.
*If the weather holds out we will definitely get a day at the beach, complete with burgers cooked on the beach for tea. That we still like doing but cannot swamp them with doing it too often. Might offer them each to bring a friend which will separate them and contain the arguments.
*They still enjoy movie nights. So I will invest in a few new DVD’s or a pay per view off demand, with popcorn and fizzy drinks to keep them happy. Again I could get them to invite a mate or two as a change.
* Games nights as Monopoly is a favourite, as is Texas Hold’em. We invested in a proper poker table last year which they love
Other than that I’m pretty stumped. Neither are bothered about cooking or baking really and making things/ craft is absolutely not their thing at all.
All you with teen boys, help me out with ideas for teenagers and the summer holidays. What else would you suggest?
