Date night ideas if you have chronic illness
When you have long term chronic illness and pain it affects you daily whether you like it or not. There will be days when you desperately want to do all the things, but its just not accessible to you due to pain or fatigue levels. It’s frustrating. So date night ideas when you have chronic illness need organising, or adjusted around what is accessible to you that particular day. Disabled dating is all about keeping it accessible to you.
Dating is an an absolute minefield at the best of times. I’m no longer in that dating minefield. I have been married for over 25 years. I wont pop on my rose tinted specs and tell you those 25 years have been a breeze. I’m a realist so I can tell you they have been worked hard for. That’s one thing I have learnt over that time. It wont be all sunshine and flowers but that makes it all the better when you do have sunshine and flowers.
It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of popping the telly on and scrolling on your phone. But I doubt that will get you anywhere in the dating world. Dating is all about connecting after all. So, even after being together for so long date nights, or days, are a great way of reconnecting for us.
Here are some of my favourite date night ideas if you have chronic illness
Try cooking a new recipe that you both like the look of. Pop a few tunes on in the background and get prepping and cooking together. Whether you stick to a recipe, or follow a YouTube video, or a wing it and hope for the best, it gives you the perfect chance to catch up. Due to my chronic pain this means my husband will do all the heavy lifting and I’ll be Norman the Foreman on what needs doing.
If you’re unable to be in the same house due to the current lockdown restrictions, you could try cooking an easy meal together over zoom. Pick something that’s accessible for you to make on your own depending on your disability needs. Or have it pre prepped to help make it easier when you start cooking. Same principle applies after that. Start chucking it all in and get chatting.
2. Indoor or outdoor picnics.
It’s no secret that I LOVE a picnic. My husband even bought me one of those fancy picnic baskets I’ve lusted over for years. It’s ace.
However, a picnic could be as simple as buying a meal deal and going to a local park. It could be fish and chips by the coast taking in a bit of sea air. This works for summer and winter by changing up the treats you take with you. Ice creams in the summer obviously and hot chocs in the winter – what’s not to like.
If you cannot get outdoors then change it up by having an indoor picnic. Chuck together a graze board with all your favourite picky foods and treats, ditch the phones and have a good old catch up. This could work on lots of disability levels. I mean, who says you can’t have a picnic in bed or on the sofa if that’s all that is accessible to you on that day.
3. Vinyl night
We absolutely love our music in this house. We are huge 80’s music fans yet we still like different bands. This is something we used to do when we were first dating. Although it was only CD’s then and my husband would play DJ. I wouldn’t know what he was going to play next. It’s great fun. It’s conversation starting. The night will literally fly past. A nice bottle of wine and a few share bags of crisps and before you know it it’ll be well after midnight – way past my bedtime!
We love that there’s a surge in vinyl sales again. It brings a whole new level to listening to the music if you have vinyl’s from when you were a teen. Obvs you have to be a certain age for that one.
Again because of current lockdown restrictions this could happen over facetime or zoom using your Spotify list. Simple but fun.
4. Film night
Streaming a film is probably most people’s go to for a date night. Let’s face it it’s going to be a while before we get back to stepping foot in an actual cinema. Certain streaming services such as Netflix and Disney+ have both audio descriptions and subtitling if you have a visual or hearing impairment.
If like me you struggle in the evenings due to pain levels then chilling on the sofa with film or binge worthy show is probably all that’s accessible to you that day. Remember to ditch the phone. No scrolling allowed. It’s still a date night even if you’re in your pj’s under a blanket watching Disney.
If you’re not in the same household as your date,due to the restrictions, then try starting a film or programme at the exact same time and watch the same thing together over facetime or zoom. Dates have to be adjusted to suit your own disability impairments and obviously take into account the lockdown restrictions at the moment. But that doesn’t mean they can’t happen.
5. Go for a walk
This probably is the most underrated date of all. Getting outside, getting fresh air, having no distractions other than what’s happening around you can be invaluable for everyone’s mental health. It’s the perfect time to chat. So, if you’re early in the dating game this is safe and easy way to get to know your date more. If like me you’ve been married a very long time it can be time to reconnect and talk about what you both want to do in the future. Talk about places you want to visit, when the lockdown madness is under control, and things you would like to do.
theoutdoorguide is a great resource to find out where is accessible to you depending on your disability and needs.
The Single Disabled YouTube channel will have other helpful ideas depending on your disability including details of a free deaf dating site Having the restriction of Lockdown and tiers for the foreseeable means it’s about thinking outside the box to allow you to connect with each other and still incorporate dating. What lockdown has taught me is that life really is about the simple things. Sometimes the things we all take for granted until we can no longer do them. Be creative. Get connected. Enjoy.