Date nights when you are married? Really?

***Here is your warning that I’m going to go all ‘Katie Hopkins’ about this one and I appreciate some of you will hit the unfollow button but hey ho!

So all over social media I see this on a daily basis, ‘date night with hubby’, or lunch date with OH or even ( scrapes the bottom of the barrel) ‘coffee dates’ with the love of your life.

First of all the actual word tends to wind me right up, ‘date’ surely is one of those americanisms that have crept into our vocabulary and become the norm. Ok I get it if you are single and talk about going on a ‘date’ as it makes sense. But really as a married couple is this the thing we should be doing? Am I missing something about this? I mean I did ‘go out’ with my other half when we first got together, after a while we got engaged and then married. Surely that is generally speaking the whole point.

So why is it now the thing  ( or seems to be from social media anyway) that I should go on ‘dates’ with my husband of 20 yrs. I mean we go out, sometimes have lunch out while the teens are at school, or grab a posh coffee and cake when we are out at the shops and even go out for a meal occasionally either on our own, or with the teens, or even with friends and each time have a great night. I have never, ever considered any one of those times a ‘date’. We don’t pencil a day on the calender to go for coffee or a lunch for fecks sake, we just do it if we fancy it either just for the sake of it or while we are already out for other shopping reasons. But we must be doing something right as we have been married for over 20 yrs and still going strong.

Yes we may plan a night out for our anniversaries, or birthdays etc but they are not ‘dates’ we just plan to go out and do something, cinema, theatre or a meal. We are lucky we both like the same main hobby (fishing- who knew eh?) so during the nicer months we will go out for the day for that purpose, but we don’t make a fishing ‘date'( and please, please, please shoot me if ever I say that crap). If he is off work and we decide to put a film on and have a beer or a bottle of wine I don’t consider that to be a fecking ‘date night’, we just fancy putting on a film that we like and chill out with a drink!

So I have 2 questions………

*Dates- yay or nay?



9 thoughts on “Date nights when you are married? Really?

  1. I’m with you on this. Mostly because I’m pretty jealous that people have husbands or partners who actually want to go out and do something. Mine just wants to sleep and stay in because he’s been working all hours.

    But yes, it should just be an occasion when you agree to go out.

    1. Oh good glad I’m not on my own with this, yeah my OH is on earlies this week so is up at 5ish so normally we just chill in front of the telly while he snores but when he is of etc we just get on with things- we don’t necessarily plan a ‘night in’!! 🙂

  2. I agree the terminology’s wrong – it’s not a ‘date’ – but I like the principal, of making a conscious and concerted effort to make time to do things together as a couple.

    1. That’s what I mean- we do stuff together anyway on a normal basis I just don’t need to book a date on the calender to say so or call a date every time we do something together! Thanks for popping by 🙂

    1. I can imagine with 5 kids there must be a bit of planning involved- just hate the whole concept of the term itself surely we tend to just do stuff together naturally anyway when we are married? Thanks for popping by going to try and visit a few off the #weekendbloghop myself 🙂

  3. Americanisms like these do tend to irritate me! I have resisted ‘date nights’ with hubby, I would never get away with that in my house anyway! we just go out when we go out, end of. I also tried my hardest to resist the term ‘play-dates’ when my child was younger. I mean, who the hell organises ‘dates’ for a child to ‘play’??? I reluctantly capitulated, it was the only way I could get him socialising with others!! xx

    1. Yeah you are right it has spilled over into the kids having friends around. My boys have always got peeps here or are at friends houses themselves but I would never organise it as a ‘play-date’?? Surely they are arranging just to meet up with mates- either to go and do something or just veg in from of the games for a while 🙂

  4. I must admit, I find this big move towards all things Americana quite annoying too! Halloween, Valentine’s Day, Date Night… they’ve all become so big and flouncy now that I wonder if the essence of them has been lost a bit…. thanks for joining in with Blow Your Own Blog-Horn xx

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