I’m no spring chicken at 48 years old, and I have done my time over the years at making new years resolutions only to last a few weeks and fall right back into the habits of a lifetime, but with the added bonus of feeling like a failure to boot – and that’s before I now factor in a chronic illness that sees me deal with constant pain every day. I’ve certainly learned over the past 10 years of dealing with illness and pain that I have very little control of how my body will be from day to day. It eats away at any control you have over life in general, on a daily basis, let alone factor in dramatic new years resolutions like joining a gym, or getting out running or even walking for that matter. Any activity I do has a huge knock on affect that impacts what I will be able to do either later that day or for a few days after.
So this year, as with the last previous few years, I have opted for very small changes across the year that then accumulate to make a bigger change overall, without putting any pressure on myself or creating unnecessary anxiety. The changes are very small steps that creates a bit of a ripple into the year, and yet they can be totally achievable even with a chronic illness.
Last year I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone of my everyday jeans uniform and make more effort to wear skirts and dresses. Probably doesn’t sound a lot to others but was definitely a big thing for me. I see lots of people wear skirts and dresses that I like but thought I could never have the confidence to wear them ( sounds pathetic now I have written it down). However, my best nine pics on Instagram proved to me that I did, in fact, achieve that ‘goal’ if you want to call it that. I realised that when I did wear them no kids screamed and no one stared……………..in fact no one cared!! Who bloody knew? I also wanted to rebrand my old blog where I wrote about my teenagers most of the time. What I did end up doing was setting up a new blog entirely and starting from scratch again, but I felt it was necessary as my old blog no longer represented me. I was no longer that mum going through those hellish early teenage years minefields. Instead, I found myself become almost redundant with regards to how much my boys at 18 and 20 needed me. My eldest is at uni and my youngest is very independent at 6th form and with a part time job and now has total driving independence too! At this point I found I had a LOT of time on my own and I needed to fill that time with my interests, or going out for days out with the husband or friends etc- therefore, I wanted a blog that was more representative of my life now at this age and going into the future. Again, I realised this ‘goal’ too without putting any major pressure on myself and have just been beavering away slowly with it just as a pastime up until now.
Now this year I have watched everyone online talk about the changes they are going to make, some big and some small. I have also seen an increase in more people like myself who are looking to make less dramatic changes and instead focus on small attainable ‘goals’ or ‘intentions’ without any major pressure. I find that small minuscule changes can have a more lasting ripple affect across other parts of your life and then the people around you.
Towards the end of this year I face the prospect of my youngest son possibly going to uni as well, which means both my ‘children’ will not be at home for a lot of the time if this happens!! A very scary thought for me and on top of that my husband will still be in his shift working job until they are due to come back …………..so I need to be a little bit prepared for that! Therefore, my ‘intentions’ for this year will be to concentrate on my blog as job rather than a hobby if I can. I need to have things I can focus on and plan in order to be able to cope with a time when my boys will not be fully living at home and I don’t have to worry about whats for dinner or if they have clean bloody uniforms! But again I am putting absolutely no pressure on myself. I have in recent months found new accounts on Instagram and new blogs to read and new virtual people to talk to, this in itself is a start in my mind. I am going to plod along at my pace making a more conscious effort to write more this year. I always have lots running through my head so getting it down in black and white is definitely going to help with clearing my mind and staying focused. i also have a social media client who has lots of exciting things happening this year which I will be partially involved in which will be a fabulous way to increase productivity and help me stay organised.
So this is me today, with a cuppa in full planning mode…..what are your New Year plans?