Things I’ve learned after 25 years on our silver wedding anniversary
This week the 23rd April 2019 marked our silver wedding anniversary. 25 years of marriage and still here to tell the tale of what I’ve learned during that time.
I know its totally cliched but I really do not know where the time has gone. I mean 25 years sounds a long time and we have done lots in that time. But it does feel as though it has shot past us in the blink of an eye.
So how did we celebrate and mark this momentous occasion. Well our eldest also turned 21 recently, so we decided a little while ago that we would combine the 2 occasions and have a family trip away in Dublin. Somewhere we all have wanted to visit but I really wanted the boys to be of legal drinking age before we went. That way we could all participate in all the typical touristy things.
We chose to do this instead of having parties. As we have rarely been able to afford to take the boys on holidays while they were growing up, we thought this would be money well spent as an experience rather than a party.
Therefore, the actual day of our silver wedding anniversary was a quiet, chilled affair. My youngest was at school all day and then went to work and my eldest was revising for his impending exams for uni. So we knew we had the day to ourselves.
So what did we do? We booked into the Flashback cinema to see The Wizard of Oz on the big screen! Its one of our all time favourite classic films. I bet you wasn’t expecting that little bundle of excitement.
Those of you that saw my FB posts last week will know that it was my 20th wedding anniversary. Even now as I write it, it still sounds impossible! 20 years? Where have they gone? Bloody flew past that I can tell you and also made me feel more than a trifle old too.
So I looked out a few pictures of the days before wrinkles and tena ladies.
This last picture is very special as my Dad has now passed away and we got married on his birthday, so I love this picture just before we went in the church together.
We have seen a few of our friends along the way marry before and after us who are no longer together but we have also a lot of friends who also have been married a long time ( let’s face it I would have got less time for murder!). So we were talking about it and we agree that a lot of people go into marriage loving the thrill of the day and think everything will be fabulous for the rest of their lives, and when they find out it isn’t they too easily cut and run.
Now us girlies all love a good romantic film but that’s exactly what it is. They don’t show both sides exhausted from working, not being able to get the same holidays booked off, sleepless nights when you have kids- surviving only on coffee and wine ( although that could have just been me). The arguments over money matters (especially when you have none), kids discipline, going out or not going out (which is more likely) amongst many others. So I think that some girls/ women have unrealistic ideas about what being married entails……….chef, shopper, cleaner, ironer, permanent child minder, kids taxi driver, money stretcher, nurse to man flu, cold beer provider, oh and not forgetting provider of conjugal rights at the most exhausting times!!
So it seems that when the going gets mudane people trade each other in for newer or more exciting models. But no one is perfect we all have our flaws ( except me of course!) so you are never going to be able to spend years and years together without getting a bit miffed, bored or downright pissed off at each other at times and believe me we have had a few of these, but do people forget that they actually said ‘for better for worse’?
Anyway, my 20 years have contained a lot, major job changes, a few house moves, two children, unemployment and now long term illness, yet here we are still together- that must say something right? I’m not an easy person to live with, my OH is pretty mellow without being a push over, he’s not the most romantic person on the earth (in fact I’m not sure he knows the word), although I did get these on the day………….
Yet after all this time we can still have the best laugh, mostly at each other’s expense but we can still laugh- that alone should count for a lot, and our boys are now in their teens so they should provide us loads of opportunities to have a good old piss take!!! Cruel I know but we have had to put up with their tantrums all these years surely it’s payback time?
So do you agree that occasionally people cut and run too soon when it comes to the ‘going get’s tough’ part?
That’s just a few of the things that have happened over my last 2 week sabbatical from social media and blogging. A non intentional period of leave that really has just happened rather than been planned. So like I said, anniversaries, sunburn, shingles…….oh and winning £1000 on the radio! I KID YOU NOT.
It started when my eldest turned 15! You can catch up with that here
Not only did he turn an age that made me feel extremely old, he decided to test our skills by sporting a rather unusual rash, which after seeing the doctor turned out to be SHINGLES!! Very strange as it only appeared on a quarter of his face and over one eye.
Anyway, it was my wedding anniversary next day, 19 years if you can believe it, I bloody couldn’t!
But I got these which automatically made the day better :
What did I do to celebrate this momentous day? I went FISHING………….yes your read it correctly. It was a gorgeous sunny day and the fish were biting so I was a happy bunny. However, I didn’t expect this little extra ……
Well things didn’t end there. I had a very lucky day when I managed to get through on Magic FM’s £1000 song!! Seriously, I called, I got through, I told them the name of song and artist and they VERY kindly gave me £1000…………………I was so excited I put the phone down without giving my details- DUH! So you can imagine my relief when they called me back- YAY.
I was on a high for a few days after that, as you can imagine. God knows what I would be like if I won the lottery………………I would probably have a heart attack on the spot!
Yesterday was my 18th ( yes you read it right) wedding anniversary. I became Mrs B at the age of 23 after meeting in the Royal Air force. To be honest you don’t think of how long you are going to be together, back then you got married and that was that. It was taken for granted that you would be together forever.
We have had lots of ups and downs just like any couple.In reality being married is never a bed of roses. But whatever we have had to deal with along the way he has always been there, he’s chilled, he goes with the flow, dependable ( meaning not very spontaneous!) and reliable.
Anyway, back to the best anniversary ever. We saw the boys off to school and had decided to take a drive down to Tunbridge Wells for a wander and a nice pub lunch.
So it started with these:
Then when we arrived at Tunbridge it was this:
Then after a lovely mooch around the shops and town it was time for:
Early I know but it did accompany a lovely plate of pub grub which I actually forgot to take a picture of.
Up until then I had a really lovely relaxed time but things were about to take a turn in a strange direction.
Earlier during our meander we happened upon a great little pet shop ( can you see where I’m going with this), were we had seen some lovely little KITTENS! As regulars will know I already have one cat who totally rules our house and is treated like a princess even though she is only 2 yrs old. Anyway, there had been an unwanted litter brought into the shop on Friday at exactly 8 weeks old. There were only 3 left, a little black and white one and 2 tabby’s.
So, to cut a long story short- AND TO BE HONEST I STILL DON’T KNOW HOW I GOT Mr B TO AGREE- we ended up bringing this one home!
Anyway, we got him and brought him home ( and who said Mr B wasn’t spontaneous?) and because we were married on St Georges Day we thought that George was a fitting name for him. How can you resist the cuteness.
HOWEVER THE PRINCESS (AKA THE TERRORIST) WAS NOT AMUSED!
Today has been a lot better and they are still checking each other out- but he needs to leave her food alone or she will be having serious words.
But the day hadn’t finished there, oh no. My eldest ( now 14) decided to make us a celebration cake complete with decoration icing and yummy buttercream.
That brings me back to my original statement……….BEST ANNIVERSARY EVER!
Normally, this day is usually marred each year as I married on my dad’s birthday and he passed away almost 10yrs ago. Really my anniversary hasn’t been the same since. However, this year for whatever reason I was determined for Mr B’s sake that it wouldn’t take over the day. It was difficult but worth it.
So now we have to go some to make next years anniversary even better………………..best I stay away from pet shops next time.