I’m no spring chicken at 48 years old, and I have done my time over the years at making new years resolutions only to last a few weeks and fall right back into the habits of a lifetime, but with the added bonus of feeling like a failure to boot – and that’s before I now factor in a chronic illness that sees me deal with constant pain every day. I’ve certainly learned over the past 10 years of dealing with illness and pain that I have very little control of how my body will be from day to day. It eats away at any control you have over life in general, on a daily basis, let alone factor in dramatic new years resolutions like joining a gym, or getting out running or even walking for that matter. Any activity I do has a huge knock on affect that impacts what I will be able to do either later that day or for a few days after.
So this year, as with the last previous few years, I have opted for very small changes across the year that then accumulate to make a bigger change overall, without putting any pressure on myself or creating unnecessary anxiety. The changes are very small steps that creates a bit of a ripple into the year, and yet they can be totally achievable even with a chronic illness.
I have been unhappy with my weight for some time, probably for a good year or so and my clothing now all resembles everything loose and flowy (which doesn’t help to be honest!)
The weight has slowly crept on over a long period of time, little by little, until I have gone up a size or two in dress size and now even those are no longer fitting comfortably. Everything I buy is cover up, long, oversized with a vest top underneath to help hold things in. I am on the short side at only 5′ 2″ so any extra weight at all has nowhere to hide! I have felt uncomfortable, fat and self conscious for a while and hate squeezing into clothes that never fit properly.
So why don’t you exercise I hear you all say. Well with my chronic illness M.E/CFS and Fibromyalgia means I am in a position where any sort of exertion can make my symptoms much worse. I still try to keep as active as I can, get out when I can, use the bus instead of driving (that way there is more walking involved) when I can but I do miss the days were I would go out running 2-3 times a week which kept my weight totally under control and let me eat whatever I wanted. I have recently found a great lady online at yoga_mybed_and_m.e who as a yoga teacher and an M.E warrior for many years has recently brought out some booklets with lots of modified yoga ( something I have wanted to try but have no flexibility) poses to help us spoonies even on our bad days. I have also joined my local spa back in Feb/Mar time after a review and try and go twice a week , although it is only once a week at the moment, for a gentle swim and a sit in their gorgeous steam room (which is just great for my muscle pain). So I am trying to stay active but getting older, taking meds that make you prone to weight gain, and obviously bad eating/ snacking habits all combined mean the weight gain is just increasing.
Therefore, having seen lots of IG peeps posting pics of their food I was inspired to join my local Slimming World group this week. So far I have found it an easy plan to work out and follow and I haven’t felt deprived of anything yet as nothing is off limits providing you count them as Syns. The only unfortunate thing is that my group meets on a Monday evening , not a great weigh in day just after the weekend but I am sure I will get used to it.
Here are a few pics of what has passed my lips so far:
Looks good right? This is only my first week so I am excited and a little worried too to see if the plan works for me and I can shift some of the added weight. I can see it becoming a way of making better food choices most of the time but also that it won’t be the end of the world if I have a bad day and eat something way over my syn value.
I am going to be honest in the hope that it will help me stay on track :
Starting weigh in 11st 2lb
goal weight 9st 7lb (9 st if I can manage to get that far!!)
My picture below is me today before any weight loss, not pretty I know, but I want something to look back at and hopefully see the changes and believe me this was a HUGE deal for me to publish here!!
So any of you also on a Slimming World journey I would love to hear any of your tips and feel free to leave me your IG name so I can also follow your journey.
I have not made ANY resolutions this year. I have NOT set any major goals to achieve either. My reason being that if I don’t do the things I have vowed to I would I feel like a failure and look back with disappointment.
This year a few things have popped into my head that I would like to make time for, but my life wont stop, or I wont feel like a failure if I don’t really get the chance to do them. I hope that makes sense.
So here goes:
** Move More…. now due to my ME/CFS I cant throw myself into any sort of exercise as there are days where just getting up out of bed is a struggle. But I have it in my head that I would like to move more and by that I mean hoover the front room, do a half hour of ironing, go for a short walk to the shop, clear out a cupboard or just boogie to my favourite song.
** Crochet/ Knit…. I cam lucky enough to be able to do both after going on a course last year to learn crochet to which I am now addicted! But I haven’t hardly picked up a hook or any needles since about November last year, not because I didn’t want to but just because there was so much going on. So I would like to get back to it- even if I manage a quick 10 minutes or even just a row! I have been lucky enough to be able to sell some of my items so maybe concentrate on those things just so I have a purpose to it.
** New Skill…. I did this last year with the crochet and I totally love it now. But I do have a sewing machine going idle because I’m not confident enough to just get on and give it a go. So I am going to get my friend round one day and get her to show me the basics of the machine and teach me some sewing skills, not for any great purpose but just to have something else I can enjoy doing and maybe make some accessories for my home.
** Blog More…. I have loads of stuff rushing through my head but I never write it down and then later when I get on the computer my mind can go blank and I lose the will to write anything! So I would like to put a bit more time in on the blog as it is something I really enjoy doing, but it is easy to let a lack of confidence take over. I would like to write more and in turn make my photography better and improve on my technical skills ( lack of skills being the major reason why I do not tinker with things on there- even plugins!). I will probably try and get more involved with Linky’s too as I enjoy seeing everyone’s posts for different linky’s from posts to pictures.
THAT’S IT. No big major life changes or possibly out of reach goals that feel more overwhelming than invigorating! All of the above ideas for me will see me enjoy my days a little better especially over the dark winter months while everyone is at school and work, but on the flip side if time goes past and I haven’t managed any of them I don’t really think it will make me feel as any sort of failure in my eyes or anyone else’s.
Life begins at 40 is what they say. People can start new things, try new things, and start to get some of their lives back as the children start to get older. For some it can be new relationships, new house, new country even.
I’m not sure what has happened to me since I turned 40 almost 2 yrs ago. Things have changed for me in so many ways:
*I now have a long term illness that stops me from working and makes me quite dependant on others around me
* After years of stating I would NEVER camp I now am a complete camping covert
* I am now old enough to have both of my children at Secondary school ( from September)
* I am now the owner of 2 cats- after never being a ‘cat lover’!
* I have now started knitting and LOVE it
* I know walk using a walking stick!
HOWEVER THERE IS SOMETHING THAT HAS HAPPENED THAT HAS ME CONCERNED FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH………………………………..
* I now LOVE to go FISHING!!!!
I know I know there must be something seriously wrong!
We headed out after the youngest went to school and set up, it was a lovely day and very peaceful. In fact I didn’t want to leave and have already booked my next trip out on the calendar!!
SO LIKE I SAID……………………………………………….I’M WORRIED ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH!!!
Crazy things can start to happen when you turn 40…………BE WARNED PEOPLE………BE WARNED!