How to play Teenage ‘Life’ Poker

Maybe that isn’t the right thing thing to teach your teenagers to play poker ( but my 2 are both dab hands at Texas Hold ’em *coughs*)

But this is a different style of poker, more like poker stakes with a difference- no money changes hands!

I’m totally sick and tired of my two whinging, whining, woe is me teens. Honestly I don’t know how on earth I got to the ripe old age of………43 without them. It’s a total miracle that I have made it in one piece with their infinite wisdom. C’mon all you with teens will know- THEY KNOW EVERYTHING!!

Well here’s my Teenage Poker game :

* I ‘see’ your 700 channel, 24 hour on demand TV ( in your own room) remotely controlled so minimum of movement is required- and I ‘raise’ you a one telly per household, with an amazing 4 channels to choose from, with kids shows only available on certain times AND you had to get off your arse to change channel, adjust the volume and switch it on and off!!

* I ‘see’ your health and safety gone mad child safety toes including padding for everywhere for anything used on the move, trampolines with total surround safety nets and barriers to stop you getting even remotely close to anything that could possibly damage you precious little bodies- and I *raise* you the Pogo stick, metal adjustable skates that went on your shoes and homemade go carts with no brakes and a rope to steer! ENOUGH SAID

* I ‘see’ your named brand clothes that are a ‘must have’ where literally NOTHING costs less than ¬£60 even though the ones you are wearing are absolutely fine and still fit- and I ‘raise’ you the 80’s fashions!!!! We have been scarred for life and we have the picture evidence to prove it.

* I ‘see’ your games consoles, laptops, Ipads, tablets and Iphones with everything at an instant touch of a button teaching you nothing but lack of patience- and I ‘raise’ you……….The Atari with the exciting Pong game!!! Graphics at it’s best LOL

* I ‘see’ your door to door on call chauffeur service to all your extra curricular clubs so your precious little legs didn’t get worn out and so are kept safe from all the horrible nastiness that is on our streets today – and I ‘raise’ you the if you cant walk there your not going and the the journey to school in an easily recognisable protestant uniform across town on the bus through a predominantly catholic area¬† starting when I was 11 years old going to secondary school. I looked danger in the eye on a daily basis and still made it to my ripe old age!

* I ‘see’ your on your person 24hrs a day phone in touch with your friends and family wherever you are at any given moment- and I ‘raise’ you the one telephone household. A phone normally situated in the hall that had an attached receiver that stretched all of a metre if you were lucky and no privacy to talk what so ever- with everyone listening in to your conversation!

Therefore, I win hands down and if anyone should have Childline on speed dial then it should be US- your old, know nothing, haven’t lived parents.

OMG How the other half live………Volvo XC60 review

No I haven’t won the Lottery ( I’m still waiting on that) however, I am getting the chance to drive something you may buy if you did win the Lottery!

Ok I will explain. I was recently offered the chance to ‘Review’ a brand new car for 3 weeks!!! YES a brand new car, from the lovely Volvo people, with a full tank of petrol( or actually diesel in this case) and both myself and my OH fully insured to drive it.

Well lets face I would have been a complete mug to turn this opportunity down- wouldn’t I?

So this car was delivered to my door yesterday evening and the driver took me through a quick brief of all the gadgets, buttons and controls.

To say this car has been pimped is an understatement!!

The car itself is a Volvo XC60……………I realise that will probably mean nothing to most of you so I thought I would show you instead:

I want you to overlook the rather BRIGHT blue colour!

This was a quick snap taken when I went out in it today……………yes I have already put it to use! This picture does not really do it justice so I will be posting better ones over the next few weeks, as I will be posting about how ‘we’ as a family find the car for town journeys, shopping and days out, how family friendly it is, and how we all get on with the gadgets…………..and believe me there are many!!!

Sat Nav

CD and DVD player

Digital TV ( I know……….AMAZING!)

Cruise control

Bluetooth technology to sync my phone ready for hands free!

Sun Roof

Tinted back windows

Heated Seats people!!! HEATED SEATS

That’s before I start on the safety elements on the car- all of which I will go into in later posts. Today on my 1st run out I happened to notice a little orange light on the inside of the door opposite the wing mirror???? Now I kept seeing this light coming on and off and couldn’t work out why!! Then the penny dropped…………………..its a warning light indicating that someone is overtaking and in my blind spot!!! GENIUS

Now as an ex driving instructor some of the available gadgets do go against the grain at first sight- the reversing camera for one! I’m a true believer that if you going to drive a car then learn to do it properly without relying on anything to do it for you!! HOWEVER, I’ve got to say I found myself looking anyway as it comes on automatically……….so I may get converted yet.

So, to say I am a happy chappy is an understatement.

Notice the BIG smile………I didn’t actually realise I had colour co-ordinated myself to the car!!!! DUH

For the next 3 weeks I will be looking as though I’m living like the other (rich) half do!! Blimey, who knows I could make a ‘Yummy Mummy’ yet……………………………………………………..OK don’t hold your breath on that one.