Things I have learned from 25 years of marriage

This week on 23rd April marked my silver wedding anniversary, 25 years of marriage and still standing.

I know its totally cliched but I really do not know where the time has gone, I mean 25 years sounds a long time and we have done lots in that time, but it does feel as though it has shot past us in the blink of an eye.

This is us taken recently on our trip to Dublin

So how did we celebrate and mark this momentous occasion. Well our eldest also turned 21 recently so we decided a little while ago that we would combine the 2 occasions and have a family trip away in Dublin. Somewhere we all have wanted to visit but I really wanted the boys to be of legal drinking age before we went so we could all participate in all the typical touristy things. We chose to do this instead of having parties as we have rarely been able to afford to take the boys on holidays while they were growing up and we thought this would be money well spent as an experience rather than a party.

Therefore, the actual day on our anniversary was a quiet, chilled affair. My youngest was at school all day and then went to work and my eldest was revising for his impending exams for uni. So we knew we had the day to ourselves…………so what did we do? We booked into the Flashback cinema to see The Wizard of Oz on the big screen as its one of our all time favourite classic films!! I bet you wasn’t expecting that little bundle of excitement.

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20 years and counting!

Those of you that saw my FB posts last week will know that it was my 20th wedding anniversary. Even now as I write it, it still sounds impossible! 20 years? Where have they gone? Bloody flew past that I can tell you and also made me feel more than a trifle old too.

So I looked out a few pictures of the days before wrinkles and tena ladies.

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This last picture is very special as my Dad has now passed away and we got married on his birthday, so I love this picture just before we went in the church together.

We have seen a few of our friends along the way marry before and after us who are no longer together but we have also a lot of friends who also have been married a long time ( let’s face it I would have got less time for murder!). So we were talking about it and we agree that a lot of people go into marriage loving the thrill of the day and think everything will be fabulous for the rest of their lives, and when they find out it isn’t they too easily cut and run.

Now us girlies all love a good romantic film but that’s exactly what it is. They don’t show both sides exhausted from working, not being able to get the same holidays booked off, sleepless nights when you have kids- surviving only on coffee and wine ( although that could have just been me). The arguments over money matters (especially when you have none), kids discipline, going out or not going out (which is more likely) amongst many others. So I think that some girls/ women have unrealistic ideas about what being married entails……….chef, shopper, cleaner, ironer, permanent child minder, kids taxi driver, money stretcher, nurse to man flu, cold beer provider, oh and not forgetting provider of conjugal rights at the most exhausting times!!

So it seems that when the going gets mudane people trade each other in for newer or more exciting models. But no one is perfect we all have our flaws ( except me of course!) so you are never going to be able to spend years and years together without getting a bit miffed, bored or downright pissed off at each other at times and believe me we have had a few of these, but do people¬† forget that they actually said ‘for better for worse’?

Anyway, my 20 years have contained a lot, major job changes, a few house moves, two children, unemployment and now long term illness, yet here we are still together- that must say something right? I’m not an easy person to live with, my OH is pretty mellow without being a push over, he’s not the most romantic person on the earth (in fact I’m not sure he knows the word), although I did get these on the day………….

I get one rose for each year - long may it continue!
I get one rose for each year – long may it continue!

Yet after all this time we can still have the best laugh, mostly at each other’s expense but we can still laugh- that alone should count for a lot, and our boys are now in their teens so they should provide us loads of opportunities to have a good old piss take!!! Cruel I know but we have had to put up with their tantrums all these years surely it’s payback time?

So do you agree that occasionally people cut and run too soon when it comes to the ‘going get’s tough’ part?