Things I have learned from 25 years of marriage

This week on 23rd April marked my silver wedding anniversary, 25 years of marriage and still standing.

I know its totally cliched but I really do not know where the time has gone, I mean 25 years sounds a long time and we have done lots in that time, but it does feel as though it has shot past us in the blink of an eye.

This is us taken recently on our trip to Dublin

So how did we celebrate and mark this momentous occasion. Well our eldest also turned 21 recently so we decided a little while ago that we would combine the 2 occasions and have a family trip away in Dublin. Somewhere we all have wanted to visit but I really wanted the boys to be of legal drinking age before we went so we could all participate in all the typical touristy things. We chose to do this instead of having parties as we have rarely been able to afford to take the boys on holidays while they were growing up and we thought this would be money well spent as an experience rather than a party.

Therefore, the actual day on our anniversary was a quiet, chilled affair. My youngest was at school all day and then went to work and my eldest was revising for his impending exams for uni. So we knew we had the day to ourselves…………so what did we do? We booked into the Flashback cinema to see The Wizard of Oz on the big screen as its one of our all time favourite classic films!! I bet you wasn’t expecting that little bundle of excitement.

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Date nights when you are married? Really?

***Here is your warning that I’m going to go all ‘Katie Hopkins’ about this one and I appreciate some of you will hit the unfollow button but hey ho!

So all over social media I see this on a daily basis, ‘date night with hubby’, or lunch date with OH or even ( scrapes the bottom of the barrel) ‘coffee dates’ with the love of your life.

First of all the actual word tends to wind me right up, ‘date’ surely is one of those americanisms that have crept into our vocabulary and become the norm. Ok I get it if you are single and talk about going on a ‘date’ as it makes sense. But really as a married couple is this the thing we should be doing? Am I missing something about this? I mean I did ‘go out’ with my other half when we first got together, after a while we got engaged and then married. Surely that is generally speaking the whole point.

So why is it now the thing  ( or seems to be from social media anyway) that I should go on ‘dates’ with my husband of 20 yrs. I mean we go out, sometimes have lunch out while the teens are at school, or grab a posh coffee and cake when we are out at the shops and even go out for a meal occasionally either on our own, or with the teens, or even with friends and each time have a great night. I have never, ever considered any one of those times a ‘date’. We don’t pencil a day on the calender to go for coffee or a lunch for fecks sake, we just do it if we fancy it either just for the sake of it or while we are already out for other shopping reasons. But we must be doing something right as we have been married for over 20 yrs and still going strong.

Yes we may plan a night out for our anniversaries, or birthdays etc but they are not ‘dates’ we just plan to go out and do something, cinema, theatre or a meal. We are lucky we both like the same main hobby (fishing- who knew eh?) so during the nicer months we will go out for the day for that purpose, but we don’t make a fishing ‘date'( and please, please, please shoot me if ever I say that crap). If he is off work and we decide to put a film on and have a beer or a bottle of wine I don’t consider that to be a fecking ‘date night’, we just fancy putting on a film that we like and chill out with a drink!

So I have 2 questions………

*Dates- yay or nay?