advice

How to play Teenage ‘Life’ Poker

- TracyB 2 Comments

Maybe that isn’t the right thing thing to teach your teenagers to play poker ( but my 2 are both dab hands at Texas Hold ’em *coughs*)

But this is a different style of poker, more like poker stakes with a difference- no money changes hands!

I’m totally sick and tired of my two whinging, whining, woe is me teens. Honestly I don’t know how on earth I got to the ripe old age of………43 without them. It’s a total miracle that I have made it in one piece with their infinite wisdom. C’mon all you with teens will know- THEY KNOW EVERYTHING!!

Well here’s my Teenage Poker game :

* I ‘see’ your 700 channel, 24 hour on demand TV ( in your own room) remotely controlled so minimum of movement is required- and I ‘raise’ you a one telly per household, with an amazing 4 channels to choose from, with kids shows only available on certain times AND you had to get off your arse to change channel, adjust the volume and switch it on and off!!

* I ‘see’ your health and safety gone mad child safety toes including padding for everywhere for anything used on the move, trampolines with total surround safety nets and barriers to stop you getting even remotely close to anything that could possibly damage you precious little bodies- and I *raise* you the Pogo stick, metal adjustable skates that went on your shoes and homemade go carts with no brakes and a rope to steer! ENOUGH SAID

* I ‘see’ your named brand clothes that are a ‘must have’ where literally NOTHING costs less than £60 even though the ones you are wearing are absolutely fine and still fit- and I ‘raise’ you the 80’s fashions!!!! We have been scarred for life and we have the picture evidence to prove it.

* I ‘see’ your games consoles, laptops, Ipads, tablets and Iphones with everything at an instant touch of a button teaching you nothing but lack of patience- and I ‘raise’ you……….The Atari with the exciting Pong game!!! Graphics at it’s best LOL

* I ‘see’ your door to door on call chauffeur service to all your extra curricular clubs so your precious little legs didn’t get worn out and so are kept safe from all the horrible nastiness that is on our streets today – and I ‘raise’ you the if you cant walk there your not going and the the journey to school in an easily recognisable protestant uniform across town on the bus through a predominantly catholic area  starting when I was 11 years old going to secondary school. I looked danger in the eye on a daily basis and still made it to my ripe old age!

* I ‘see’ your on your person 24hrs a day phone in touch with your friends and family wherever you are at any given moment- and I ‘raise’ you the one telephone household. A phone normally situated in the hall that had an attached receiver that stretched all of a metre if you were lucky and no privacy to talk what so ever- with everyone listening in to your conversation!

Therefore, I win hands down and if anyone should have Childline on speed dial then it should be US- your old, know nothing, haven’t lived parents.

The Half Term Dilemma

- TracyB Leave a comment

As always in my house – nothing is ever done the easy way!

So half term was supposed to be a trip to my mum’s in Devon for me and the boys for most of the week as my OH was left at home working. By the end of the week just before half term the arrangements had altered to just me and my eldest visiting Devon.

My youngest did not have other arrangements, my OH had not taken the time off work………………so what changed?

Well, as always long story short, youngest was playing up all week and called me some totally unacceptable names, so I made the decision to leave him behind (not home alone obviously but at home with dad while he was there and then at his other nana’s when he was at work).

Not an easy decision though, but at the age of 13 I think I had to make the point that he cannot get away with the behaviour he had been sporting.

I have now been at my mums for two days so far and it has been a total chill out. No arguing, no complaining, no demanding and no ‘high maintenance’ attitude. It has been blissful. I have had no dinners to cook, no cleaning to do and generally no organising to consider. Like I said………..BLISS.

Me and my youngest son are VERY alike. We are headstrong, vocal and generally like to be in total control!! However, I think because we are so alike we had reached a stage where we both were in need of a break from each other.

In actual fact it has worked out great all round. He had a model to make for school which he spent 2 days with Dad working on it. He then gets to spend a day with his younger cousins at my MIL’s and then is going to help his Grandad sort his new IPod which he cannot use!! Therefore my son will get one to one time with him teaching him how to sort all his CD’s onto his IPod (that should make for interesting viewing). Then he will get another full day with Dad before we return.

In the meantime my eldest gets to chill out with my younger brother ( both get on like a house on fire) and I get to actually de stress from all the usual crap, drink copious amounts of tea, catch up with my mum and brother, and knit in peace until my heart is content.

Personally I think the break away from each other will do us both good, I have spoken to him and been in contact via text etc and already he seems in a better frame of mind. I think although it was hard to do I have done the right thing. I am hoping that he will think twice the next time he refers to my illness in such a derogatory manor!!

What would you have done? 

 

 

How to ensure your kids stay safe online

- TracyB Leave a comment

How to ensure your kids stay safe when they’re online

The internet is a very useful tool to help your kids develop. Whether they need help with homework, talk to their friends from school or just play, they can just log on to the computer or tablet, but steering clear of danger is something that doesn’t always enter their thoughts. A session of carefree browsing might seem fun, but clicking on the wrong page could do a lot of harm.

If you have young children, you might feel it’s necessary to watch their every click. While this can be useful in case they click on something by mistake that you won’t want them to see, it’s impossible to do this all the time, especially as they get older. To avert any problems such as clicking on a pop-up ad by mistake or talking to someone they shouldn’t, here are some handy tips:

Select a list of sites they can visit

As a mum to an 13 and 15 year old, I am extremely concerned about the things they view on the net, but I’m aware that I have to loosen the restrain as they mature into their own and trust that they’ll be safe even when unsupervised. If unlike me, you have younger kids then it’s best to limit them to only visiting a handful of sites in the ‘favourites’ column of your web browser. When mine were little our computer was downstairs in our kitchen at a workstation and so I did find it easier to monitor. However, now with Iphones, tablets and laptops I can see how easy it can become for them to have more ‘freedom’.

By slowly introducing them to the wonders of the web, you can show them more interesting sites as they get older. That way, you won’t have too much to worry about when you feel they’re ready to browse without you watching over them. We started with the CBeebies and Nickelodeon sites which were firm favourites. As my eldest got older it moved on to Club Penguin and Minecraft.

Use a comprehensive antimalware program

This is one of the easiest steps to take to help keep your kids safe online. A family protection software with user defined restrictions and allowances could help with blocking any malicious or ‘adult’ sites that your kids may enter by accident, minimising any damage in the process.

Leave social media till later

Image credits to jcfacility.co.uk

However, once they start secondary school and approach their teens, your kids might want to create a social media account. You should tell them about how it works, and if you’re on the same site as them, add them as friends or follow them to see what they’re up to, just to give you peace of mind. When they started on Facebook one of the rules was that they had to be friends with both myself and my OH. That way we could easily keep track of what they were doing on there. Our reasoning being, there is no need to be embarrassed about what was being said and therefore there would be less secrets. They know we occasionally check on their timeline just to make sure they are being ‘appropriate’. My OH is also a policeman and so has always made them aware of the possible dangers of chat sites and online gaming such as Xbox etc. We also have rules in place with the gaming and my youngest who has just turned a teenager yesterday has yet to be registered on his!

I think it’s all about being sensible as a parent, if you are able to build up trust with the older kids whilst allowing them to make some of the decisions you are at least on the right track. With younger kids it’s all about the security precautions you can impose without them being aware.

 

DISCLOSURE:This is a Collaborative PR related article

Walk to school

- TracyB 2 Comments

With all the talk on Twitter and Facebook about kids returning to school this week I’m asking the question:

Do You Walk To School?

My 2 boys are at secondary school now and at age 15 and 12 (almost 13) they STILL walk to school! (well one goes on a bike)

For the whole of their time at nursery and primary school we walked to school- always. It is about a 15 minute walk away from where we live. Their secondary school is about a further 5 minutes away from there.

When it was raining we still walked as the roads would be far more busy and we would have to park about 5 minute walk away so we would have got wet anyway. I found that by the time we had walked to school we had beaten all the traffic and could get undercover ( let’s face it that’s why we have UMBRELLAS!). Also It was a quiet time to chat without too much distraction from telly’s. We began to meet friends on the way, the kids would maybe take scooters etc and in the summer we would go straight to the park on the way home.

I do appreciate that not everyone is in this position, maybe the school is further away, or the parents both work and therefore haven’t the time to walk there and back before work. But you and I know there are loads of parents who live close enough to walk and yet chose to get in their cars to drop their kids outside the school gates!! The operative word being ‘CHOOSE’. So from there their kids then are trained to expect to be driven everywhere.

Check out this video below by StartRite taken from a child’s point of view about walking to school.

Great British Walk To School

So I will ask you again……..Do you walk to school?

Who needs a Will?

- TracyB Leave a comment

There can only be one answer to that…………EVERYONE!

Especially if you are a home owner with kids. I was always of the opinion that we didn’t have anything to put in a will until we got advice and realised that actually our house is a huge investment and really if we want our kids to inherit it then we need to get it down on paper.

My in-laws only did a will several years ago when they were in their late 60’s and yet when you think about it that is leaving it a tad late. However, they were of the opinion that everything would be split equally between their boys, and I am sure that had anything had happened that’s exactly what would of happened. Yet when we got our advice it was extremely interesting to hear and think about the different scenarios that could happen especially with me and my OH only being in our 40’s *cough* young whippersnappers!

Also what was great about our advice was that all of it was to benefit our kids. In that I mean ways that things could be arranged to keep everything managed UNDER the Inheritance Tax levels!! Now for every hard working, tax paying, home owning person out there………that is a MUST.

We were lucky enough to be contacted by Ade from Maximum Inheritance Specialists  

to review the Will service that he provides. We really had no idea what to expect and he was extremely patient with us when we looked at him blankly when he was going through the questions to find out where to start with us! Anyway we got through it and it really was food for thought. You don’t want to think about possibilities of going your separate ways or something happening to you or your partner but he definitely makes you realise how important it is to consider in order to make sure your children are put first ( which most couples would want).

The service started with a phone call for basic details, and then followed up the following week with a home visit from Ade. He was at our house for about an hour and a half although I’m sure if my OH hadn’t asked soooooo many questions it would have been concluded long before then.

A few days later hall the sent an email with an outline of our will and trusts to confirm everything and then another meeting is planned, again for the next week. However, as I was ill on the day I had to re arrange the date which Ade was very accommodating. On his return he had all the paperwork ( and there was loads!) which he had already completed for us and all we were doing was signing with a witness to complete.

Again he was super helpful, and patient as the paperwork can get confusing LOL

After that the service was complete and although he can hold the wills for you, you are welcome to keep them for yourselves which is what we opted for.

Some people would question why bother with the service when you can walk into somewhere like WH Smith and buy one you can fill out, however, if you are anything like us you won’t have a clue where to start. It’s easy to say that your children or family will share it all equally however, when money is involved people can become very greedy and that’s when things go wrong.

Having now experienced a full will service from a company I would always advise everyone to do the same, the advice was eye opening and invaluable and the fact all the paperwork is done for you is a Godsend as it’s all in technical speak! We also found that the signing in the right places by the correct person to be of paramount importance as a wrong signature could make the whole document null and void- again better to have someone to tell you exactly where to sign.

Now lets face it these sorts of services don’t come cheap, but I have searched on the net and found Ade’s service prices to be very competitive.

* A basic Will service with this company will cost you £180

* The Trusts and Power of Attorney are separate services which are charged at £450 each- However, if you take out both a Trust and Power of Attorney then the total for the two would only be £550!!

However, thankfully he offers a service where you can pay by installments over 3 months which certainly makes it more attainable.

*** OFFER***

Ade at Maximum Inheritance Services is also offering  a £50 M&S voucher for anyone who is interested in the service and becomes a client before the end of JULY!

 DISCLAIMER: I was asked to review the total service from Maximum Inheritance Specialists with Ade free of charge however, all thoughts and views are my own. No other payment was received.

Do you DIY?

- TracyB Leave a comment

This is something I have always put off as does my OH! His Dad has been a carpenter and decorator for around 50 years and is in his 70’s now- although still very able and is building us a new shed as I type ( I kid you not!).

But at the beginning of this year I took a fancy to buy an old welsh dresser and ‘up-cycle’ it by myself………………like I mentioned before this is totally OFF my radar. However, armed with the chalk paint and wax the cabinet went from this:

As bought with glass doors taken off!

To this:

Something I am VERY chuffed about for a complete DIY novice!

I must say I got a real buzz from knowing that I had done the work all by myself.Knowing then that I could do it has spurred me on to look at other parts of the house. I am currently repainting existing frames to use after my OH attempted a bit of wallpapering for the first time ever…………..after some helpful and expert advice from his Dad

It started with just a ‘feature wall’…….
To a ‘feature corner’!!!

Which in all honesty I think he did a great job ( although OBVIOUSLY I would never tell him that LOL) and a little re-decoration has gone a LONG way to changing up our front room on a budget.

Now although we have a wealth of information from our expert in the family my OH actually likes to do it off his own back without relying on his Dad, and for this the Internet is a Godsend. We actually came across a great little FREE  eBook download on the Local Traders site called ’28 Tips on How to Decorate’ which takes you through the basic of jobs like wallpapering, polishing wooden floors, hanging pictures properly and many more. It is also written plainly with no confusing jargon and is aimed at people like myself who don’t really have a clue where to start! It even walks you through the tools you are going to need for the jobs. PERFECT

Also in these economic times if you can do some of the simpler jobs yourself your going to save a few pounds towards the projects that DO need a professional brought in. So my next challenge is to pimp my hallway to match my lovely painted cabinet!! LOL Possibly another feature wall with wallpaper, up-cycling of my frames and mirrors, and if I can do that myself ( by that I obviously mean my OH) then I will have saved enough for new curtains out there to really make the difference.

 

**DISCLOSURE: this post is in collaboration with Local Traders **

Money- can you manage it?

- TracyB Leave a comment

I like to pride myself on being good with money. I can make a small amount go quite far when it ids required. I can prioritise what is desperate and what I can leave for just that little bit longer. This includes making the food bill stretch, when necessary and paying all the necessary extras, such as the kids after school clubs and finding alternative ways to entertain the boys without spending a fortune!

I have had to become like this since it was necessary to give up work after being diagnosed with M.E 4 years ago. Going back to one wage, with a hefty mortgage and two growing boys meant a real cut back on almost everything. The last time we had a credit card was when we were going through our major house renovation when we slightly overspent and ended up with around £1500 left to pay off on the card after our loan was used up. This took us a long while to eventually pay off, but we managed it by severely cutting back, doing without a lot of things. It was a sacrifice I’m glad we made as I haven’t got that depth of money worries keeping me awake a night. Since then we have never taken out another as it was too easy to keep adding £30 here and £50 there when we felt like it.

Now the only things we owe on is our mortgage and our car. Other than that we live on a ‘if we haven’t got the money we don’t buy it’ basis. This can be much easier said than done to be honest, there are times when watching every penny can grind you down and you think I just need a blow out of some sort. We are very lucky as both my mum and my in-laws are VERY generous when it comes to helping us out if we find ourselves in a tight financial spot but  I can imagine that this is not the case for everyone and therefore a credit card with all the low interests rates becomes an attractive alternative. In that respect I consider myself extremely lucky.

We are a family that does not care about big brand/ designer names in clothes or our house. I am a firm believer in not paying over the odds for anything and there is nothing better than a good old shop around, especially online, to find a bargain and still look nice and have a nice home without the designer price tag. My kids always come first so if they need clothes, shoes, clubs paid for, then I will sort that first. Neither of my boys have gone on a secondary school trip and my eldest is in yr10. However, they are jsut completely out of our reach. As a family we go camping as a cheap way of affording a holiday. When away we don’t tend to eat out and I will take all the necessary food and treats with us. My boys who are now 12 and 15 are very understanding and have become bargain hunters themselves ( never paying full price for a console game and buying pre owned) again being careful with their money.

However, for some people they just cannot resist and rely solely on their flexible friends to get the what they want. This can quickly build up over several cards and before they know it they really are in VERY deep. For others, it could be the situation they find themselves in, for example, a relationship break up, a loss of a job or partner and literally having no one else to turn to for help, they become reliant on credit because they need to feed themselves and their kids.I have noticed lots of money lending and quick money adverts on the TV recently and for some this can be the quick solution instead of finding a long term one.

A persons debt can be an extremely stressful thing to acknowledge without the proper advice could be difficult to face alone. Sometimes the right advice can be all that’s needed to get a persons financial status back on track. Like I say I’m fortunate enough to have family help if needed but some people have no one and get locked in a downward spiral of borrowing more and more to get them through. So get the proper debt management information for your situation in order to make the changes you may need.

 HOW DO YOU PRORITISE YOUR FINANCES?

ARE YOU A BARGAIN HUNTER OR A DESIGNER ADDICT?

**DISCLAIMER: this post comes to you in collaboration with Debt free Direct.

Big Dilemma

- TracyB 6 Comments

I have a dilemma that has raised it’s head and won’t seem to resolve itself. I’m a firm believer in everything happening for a reason and sometimes when I have a dilemma it almost sorts itself out by something happening that makes you go in a certain direction.

This one is proving to be a stubborn son of a b**ch!

My youngest whose 12 yrs old now has been acting in some form or another for around maybe 3-4 years. He has been extremely lucky so far and has some great opportunities through it. He has appeared in an Argos advert, a serious play, Shadowlands, where he played an American boy and he won ‘Best Young Player’ in the Kent Festivals for his role. He has appeared in panto with Vanilla Ice and Katy Ashworth, and has worked with the London Film School on a short film, again playing an American boy! He is also under contract until next April with a German company who are creating books for schools to teach English in our schools from 2016 where again he is the main character.

All his jobs have been varied and yet people at each one will comment on how professional he is for his age and how natural he is in front of the camera! As a mum I look for his behaviour on set rather than his acting skills LOL so I don’t tend to see what they do.

Anyway, up until just after Christmas if you had asked him he wanted to be an actor. He has no interest in university and although he is extremely bright he sees school as a social rather than something he needs to put effort into.

Now for the dilemma- he says he is giving it all up!!! He doesn’t want to renew his Spotlight national CV and wants to finish drama after the German contract has ended!!

I’m not sure where this has come from. He has always been happy to trudge up London for last minute castings and auditions, and although he has been knocked back this year on most of them he has hit an awkward age where he no longer qualifies as cute and is not old looking enough for the teenage roles (which I have explained to him).

He desperately needs his portfolio photo updated which was to happen a few weeks ago when he decided to give it all up.

I am sure he would benefit from the updated photo and to continue on Spotlight when it is due to be renewed in September- however, he seems adamant.

Now don’t get me wrong- I AM NOT A PUSHY MUM where this is concerned! We actually have a giggle at those who are when at auditions- honestly you can so tell them from a mile off LOL. But drama and his involvement in acting has always given him a focus and this is where my issue comes in.

Do I just allow him to give it all up and have nothing to focus on? He has already given up Scouts and therefore would have NO outside clubs to attend at all. I personally don’t think this is a great idea. He would need to have an interest in something surely? I do not want him to come from school each day and take himself off to his room and fester there using all his gadgets and not getting out. I think an outside interest is healthy whatever it is, musical instrument/ sports/ clubs etc.

When he was very young at this drama club before they even had an agency they asked him to attend a voice over for Telletubbies as he was a very clear speaker from an early age. He then didn’t want to return and left drama altogether!! A few years later he regretted it and rejoined and did the local jobs as well as joining the national Spotlight site.

So what would you all suggest? I don’t want to force him to do something he doesn’t but I don’t want him to give it up on a whim and regret it again later on. He seems very influenced by his friends at the moment and I am wondering if they have said anything to him that would have made him come to this decision ( he would never admit to that anyway!) .For a 12yr old he has earned quite a tidy sum of money along the way and yesterday went and bought himself an IPAD mini from his earnings, something that I have tried to make him see how lucky he is at this age to be able to get money from an interest!!

Again please let me know what you would do if it were your child? I need all the advice I can get?

Top tips to get your child into Theatre

- TracyB 2 Comments

As some of you will know my youngest is a bit of a luvvy. He has done a bit of acting, TV ads, plays, panto’s, short films and photo shoots etc, and is naturally high maintenance which I think comes with the career!

He is 12 and has been doing this for about 3 years via an after school drama club he goes to. He has attended auditions for all sorts of things from musical theatre to feature films. He has learned very quickly to take the knock backs in his stride and realises that sometimes you are just not right for a part.

How long he will keep this going I cannot say, he could give it up at any time or continue into his teens and beyond. He will only do it for as long as he enjoys it and that is the main thing. From an early age he has always been, loud, centre of attention and wanting to be part of this.

But how does a child get ‘into’ this sort of business?

Take a look below for some top tips

 

Get your children into theatre with these top tips

Whether it is Grease, Les Miserables, Oliver Twist or Hamlet, we all have a favourite theatre show that springs to mind. But have you ever spotted the signs of a star in the making? Actress and choreographer Jayne Draper from the Italia Conti Academy of Theatre Arts has compiled some top tips on how to get your little ones in to theatre:

1.     Attend ballet, dancing, singing or acting classes on a weekly basis at School/College/local Dance/Acting schools and visit the theatre to see productions.

2.     Audition and participate in School/College Productions or join the Choir.

3.     Ask your parents to send for a variety of prospectuses and visit different Stage Schools/Colleges to ensure that the course will match your needs, before you audition.

4.     You could attend a Summer School/Workshop at a Stage School where you will gain exposure to a variety of disciplines, be taught by professionals within the industry and have the chance to perform at the end.

5.     Always make a good first impression at an audition or in class – by being well prepared, enthusiastic and motivated. Ensure that you are well groomed and appropriately dressed.

6.     Demonstrate a good professional work ethic, show mutual respect for teachers and fellow students and always work to fulfil your potential.

7.     Work hard. Be focused, self-disciplined, driven, passionate, polite, committed and aspire to be the best you can be.

8.     Show your versatility; explore your self-expression and creativity. Be adaptable and accept constructive criticism.

9.     Practice in your own time to develop and perfect your technique to enhance your overall performance.

10.  Look after yourself – Healthy eating, drinking water and plenty of rest are all essential to sustain the necessary levels of energy and stamina required. Ensure that your mind and body are “warmed up” to prevent Injury.

Despite our love for theatre productions, research has found that that on average the last time we went to the theatre was seven years ago, due to the cost of the tickets and inconvenience of getting to the theatre.

Luckily for us, TalkTalk is launching it’s new on-demand Theatre Channel on YouView to make theatre accessible to families throughout the UK. To get some further inspiration on what to view first with your kids and to inspire your children into the world of dance, music and drama, watch our video montage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqwyGU5UPlM&feature=youtu.be

 

In this video, actors from the Italia Conti Academy of Theatre Arts have teamed up with TalkTalk to celebrate some famous and much-loved scenes from the world of theatre, asking audiences across London what they wanted to see them perform.

 

 

 

The Teenager Manual

- TracyB Leave a comment

No I’m not kidding I actually found this in the library today!

Yes the Haynes Teenager Manual!! So I couldn’t leave it on the shelf. I have 2 boys aged 12 and 14yrs and dealing with them is a complete minefield. They are both VERY different in character and also deal with similar situations in different ways. It is true that they cannot breathe the same air and DO NOT get on in any way!

I don’t want them to grow into delinquents or become estranged in any way and yet I do believe that it comes down to us as parents to do something about it.  WE must be doing something wrong if that were to actually happen and  to be fair I would be distraught.

So, in true fashion of ‘prevention rather than cure’ I saw this and thought………………well it worked out OK for cars didn’t it.

Well it can’t hurt can it?