This is the card I got for my youngest son this week at he turned 19!
We bought the card as joke which he loved, but as I keep looking at it the reality has actually hit home.
My eldest son is 21 and is still away at uni. My youngest decided against uni and is taking a year (while he works a part time job) to do as much solo travel as possible before actually deciding what route he wants to go down.
I’m extremely proud of how both my boys have grown and support them fully in choosing their own paths to walk down.
However, for me as a mum it’s bittersweet. I literally have ‘grown ups’ now instead of children, and with that comes a level of enforced ‘mum redundancy’ as they branch out and need us less. I have much more time for ME and whatever that entails and this year I have really struggled with that if I’m honest.
Before I start, I want to put this into perspective. No-one has died, or divorced, or left etc. It wasn’t to do with grades or uni or even a relationship. But this week my eldest son had what they see would as a huge disappointment. He was due to go on holiday with his girlfriend and her family on an early flight on Saturday morning to Tenerife for a week. He had been invited over the Christmas holidays and we agreed that it would be his gift for his 19th birthday which is on Easter Sunday this year. A lot of money was spent on flights, insurance, passport and proper summer clothes that he was going to need.
Last week there was things to sort for him everyday leading up to picking him up from uni late on Thursday evening so we had Friday to sort all the packing and money exchanging. It was a busy week for me as it’s not every day I can be up and around and active due to my illness, however, by Friday morning we were fairly relaxed thinking we were ahead of ourselves.
Then came the message that was to change it all. His girlfriend messaged to say her younger brother had been rushed into hospital that morning as he had become unwell without any warning signs or symptoms. When he told us my hubby and I knew right there and then that they would not be flying out to their holiday,but wanted to allow him to process what was happening and come to his own conclusions without us being instantly negative. However, as the morning went on I received a call from the mum to tell me what was happening and that they would have to cancel the holiday! Having never spoken to her before other than a phone message I felt so sorry for her when she was getting upset telling us they have to cancel. As an adult we can look at the whole situation and know that the most important thing was that their son was going to be OK. But we then had to break the news to my son, yes he’s 19 years old and should be able to process the initial disappointment and be able to know that it was more important that their son was well. However, throw in the fact he hasn’t been on proper holiday abroad for around 10 years so he was definitely excited about going, also the fact he was going to spend a week with his girlfriend ( who he doesn’t see every week because she lives in Norfolk and he’s at uni in Brighton) and then add on that the fact he has Aspergers.
You may have thought I had given up on my little blog it has been so long since I have posted on here, but no, I am still here I have just been having a little break.
It’s not that I haven’t had anything to write about, there have been loads going on in the past few months in my little corner of the world, it is just the fact that I haven’t had the inclination to put it all on here, call it lack of blogging mojo but I have had a total break from my site although I have been active on my social media sites. Last night, however, I attended a lovely event down in Kent which got me back in touch with the blogging community. It was fun, it was nice to meet new people and get a bit of that missing blogging mojo back.
So, what has been happening while I have been away (and I do not mean the obvious political stuff that is all over social media at the minute). In my little bubble, I haven’t been active on here since attending a review for a local spa, which I have now joined myself and try and go there at least twice a week. I cannot tell you how relaxing it is using the heat rooms ( sauna and steam) there and how lovely that has been for my poor M.E/Fibro muscular pain.
There’s been 18th birthday celebrations for my eldest ( in April) before all the madness of his A level exams recently.
This post has taken me a few weeks to write as we have had a few things happen all at once that have made me feel old and decrepit!
Anyway this was still a joyous occasion, my little baby, turning 16…………………still very hard to believe. But as I look at him now I see the older boy he is, something I have denied for a VERY long time ( I’m sure I’m not the only one here that has done this). He talks of exams and A levels and university. He talks of trips up to London with friends and recently wanting to stay at home on his own so he can get a ‘bit of independence’. He has asked to be shown how to use the washing machine ( I know great isn’t it LOL), cook things for himself, organise outings with his friends etc, really something he hasn’t even shown an interest before- he even started shaving. So this is great, really it is *weeps into my coffee*.
So to celebrate this he wanted a paintball day with some of his mates which they all loved and Dad got ‘hero points’ for taking out the exterminator guy in one of the games!
I feel like a real ‘cool’ ‘up to date’ ‘rockin’ sort of mum this week. I can announce I have been to 2 fab concerts in one week- Go Me!!
One was for the fab Robster which you can read here if you missed it. The other was a lot ‘cooler’ as I took my teen to Hyde Park to see Bon Jovi!!! I know I’m still reliving it LOL ( bear in mind I don’t get out much *cough*). This was actually a birthday pressie for him back in April, but of course being 15 he needed a chaperone (that’s my excuse).
Anyway I cannot stand for very long periods of time so was lucky enough to get tickets for the accessible standing area which gave us a BRILLIANT view.
We were literally behind this barrier and this photo was taken with no zoom either. We were actually in part of the very expensive ‘Gold ‘ area which meant a lot more room and view with the thousands of peasants left to bundle inside the park area!!
Sometimes having an affliction can come in very handy.
First up for us was the Kaiser Chiefs who were great and the singer was a really funny guy interacting with the crowd to.
Then it was the turn of the main band- BON JOVI!! Actually I’m not sure who was more excited and I did outscream shout much louder than my son. What are mum’s for after all?
As the evening wore on the light show was amazing too.
We certainly got our money’s worth as they played for around 3 hrs or so, playing all our fav’s……….Raise Your hands, Living on a Prayer, with an amazing rendition of Always in the encore!
We both had a fabulous time, with my son recording lots of his favourite songs on his phone to listen at home. We swayed, danced, sung our little hearts out for a few hours and I was given the seal of approval for being able to get him in an area closer to the stage!! This may be a good thing or not depending on who he has his eye on next LOL………
I have a dilemma that has raised it’s head and won’t seem to resolve itself. I’m a firm believer in everything happening for a reason and sometimes when I have a dilemma it almost sorts itself out by something happening that makes you go in a certain direction.
This one is proving to be a stubborn son of a b**ch!
My youngest whose 12 yrs old now has been acting in some form or another for around maybe 3-4 years. He has been extremely lucky so far and has some great opportunities through it. He has appeared in an Argos advert, a serious play, Shadowlands, where he played an American boy and he won ‘Best Young Player’ in the Kent Festivals for his role. He has appeared in panto with Vanilla Ice and Katy Ashworth, and has worked with the London Film School on a short film, again playing an American boy! He is also under contract until next April with a German company who are creating books for schools to teach English in our schools from 2016 where again he is the main character.
All his jobs have been varied and yet people at each one will comment on how professional he is for his age and how natural he is in front of the camera! As a mum I look for his behaviour on set rather than his acting skills LOL so I don’t tend to see what they do.
Anyway, up until just after Christmas if you had asked him he wanted to be an actor. He has no interest in university and although he is extremely bright he sees school as a social rather than something he needs to put effort into.
Now for the dilemma- he says he is giving it all up!!! He doesn’t want to renew his Spotlight national CV and wants to finish drama after the German contract has ended!!
I’m not sure where this has come from. He has always been happy to trudge up London for last minute castings and auditions, and although he has been knocked back this year on most of them he has hit an awkward age where he no longer qualifies as cute and is not old looking enough for the teenage roles (which I have explained to him).
He desperately needs his portfolio photo updated which was to happen a few weeks ago when he decided to give it all up.
I am sure he would benefit from the updated photo and to continue on Spotlight when it is due to be renewed in September- however, he seems adamant.
Now don’t get me wrong- I AM NOT A PUSHY MUM where this is concerned! We actually have a giggle at those who are when at auditions- honestly you can so tell them from a mile off LOL. But drama and his involvement in acting has always given him a focus and this is where my issue comes in.
Do I just allow him to give it all up and have nothing to focus on? He has already given up Scouts and therefore would have NO outside clubs to attend at all. I personally don’t think this is a great idea. He would need to have an interest in something surely? I do not want him to come from school each day and take himself off to his room and fester there using all his gadgets and not getting out. I think an outside interest is healthy whatever it is, musical instrument/ sports/ clubs etc.
When he was very young at this drama club before they even had an agency they asked him to attend a voice over for Telletubbies as he was a very clear speaker from an early age. He then didn’t want to return and left drama altogether!! A few years later he regretted it and rejoined and did the local jobs as well as joining the national Spotlight site.
So what would you all suggest?I don’t want to force him to do something he doesn’t but I don’t want him to give it up on a whim and regret it again later on. He seems very influenced by his friends at the moment and I am wondering if they have said anything to him that would have made him come to this decision ( he would never admit to that anyway!) .For a 12yr old he has earned quite a tidy sum of money along the way and yesterday went and bought himself an IPAD mini from his earnings, something that I have tried to make him see how lucky he is at this age to be able to get money from an interest!!
Again please let me know what you would do if it were your child? I need all the advice I can get?
Well almost anyway. After the last few weeks of activity my body definitely isn’t used to and crushing recuperation in between has seen me absent from my blog for a while.
I’m getting back to some level of normality, but only just!
It started with :
This was a gruelling ( for me anyway!) four 12hr days with travelling on top. I really cannot explain how I managed to stay standing ( my lovely new walking stick came in very handy). I don’t think I have pushed my poor M.E body that hard for a very long time. When it was over I went to bed and lost almost 2 days in bed and the rest of the week sleeping while the boys were at school. However, he had 2 more auditions in London the next week and a day on location on Norfolk to finish the film!!
That meant another day spent in bed afterwards for me and very quickly my days were disappearing. I haven’t blogged or been on Twitter, I haven’t knitted for what seems like ages ( although I managed to do some whilst chaperoning my son. Even watching mindless TV would take it’s toll.
However, other things have been happening all be it around me:
Like this great chocolate swiss roll that my eldest decided to make at the weekend!! It tasted just as good as it looks too, although I might have had to have several slices just to make sure.
We also found this, a copy of the paper my eldest was put in for his efforts to raise money for the London’s Air Ambulance. That’s him in the middle of the picture with the crew who got a call literally seconds afterwards and we got to watch them head off on an emergency call- fantastic!
Oh and of course the recent sunshine (most of which I have missed by being in bed) brought out the ‘Diva’ side of the cat…………………life is good, feed me more treats!!
However, the down side is I am sooo behind with everything, cleaning, ironing, cooking even to some extent. That’s without mentioning the blog. I have emails I haven’t responded to, posts that I need to write and networking to do.
So be warned, I have some great posts coming- an A-Z of me, a review that might interest those of you who value a restful nights sleep, a few of my knitting projects that I haven’t taken pics of yet!
I was lucky enough to be invited to the screening of Journey 2 The Mysterious Island last weekend, we had seen the first film so generally had an idea what to expect.
However, when we arrived at the Vue in London we were taken by surprise as we were met by allsorts of snakes, spiders and lizards!! Not what you expect when you go to see a film!
Anyway, this had my youngest totally in his element. As both myself and my eldest wandered casually around eating the lovely croissants and drinking juice cocktails that had been supplied, my youngest went around trying to hold everything he could( this may have had something to do with the toys they were giving away to the kids who bravely held them)!
At one point a very nice lady politely asked me if I would like to try some snacks but as I looked at the plate it was true ‘Bush Tucker Trial’ stuff. I’m not kidding, she just laughed when I politely declined but asked to take a photo ( a true blogger me!).
Then it was time to go into the cinema. We got our 3D glasses at the ready and took our seats.
Now if I’m honest after seeing the first film ( that was a birthday treat if you don’t mind- funny how our birthdays always get taken over by the kids ideas!!) I wasn’t really expecting too much. However, I was pleasantly surprised. There was an element of comedy that was aimed both at the kids and the adults with a little obvious slapstick for the youngest of watchers too. The serious charm of Michael Caine as the grandfather was a great match against Dwayne Johnson ( who I expected to be slightly wooden but surprisingly wasn’t). The little one liners between them kept a great rivalry going. Watch out for Dwayne’s ‘pec’s’ talk………..hilarious.But Luis Guzman as Gabato played the comedy character you couldn’t help but like…….Bless him.
So premise of the story if you don’t know:
Sean gets crypted messages from a ‘mysterious island’, Hank ( stepdad) helps him uncover the code and accompanies him find the island. Gabato and his daughter help them get there by using their helicopter. Long story short…….they get there by default, find Sean’s long lost grandfather (Caine) and have to find a way off the island as it’s sinking!! Cue the Nautilus/ Atlantis slant.
Anyway, all in all a great film to take the kids too over the coming half term. Action, adventure and a splash of comedy makes for a kids film that even the parents may admit to enjoying for what it is.
The film has been rated as a PG and has a running time of 94mins
Declaration: I was given the free tickets to review this film, however all opinions are my own!
Sorry about the quality of the photos…..I stupidly forgot my camera and had to rely on my Blackberry!!!
Thank You to the lovely Emily at Think Jam for the chance to review Journey 2 The Mysterious Island.
Recently I have been asking myself this question virtually everyday.
I have two boys, one aged 13 and the other is 11. THEY DO NOT GET ON!!!!
They are very, very different personalities, which I think is great. They like different things but also like some similar things too. So why can’t they get along together?
I truly do not know!!!
Now I don’t just mean a bit of sibling rivalry, or fighting one minute and then friends the next. NO they are never friends…………………….EVER.
My youngest is a very loud and outgoing character. He has a lot of personality and loves to be centre of attention. My eldest is quieter, more mellow generally and tends to go with the flow (until it involves his brother).
But it is starting to affect the family dynamics. A family day at home or out is just horrendous. We know it will end in tears (namely ours!!). It seems as a family we cannot simply enjoy time together, just chatting, laughing and having a joke. My eldest can get very stressed by th whole thing.
At the moment our family life is generally our boys taking themselves off to their separate rooms and shutting their doors to be away from each other.
As parents we try to be fair with their disputes. However, we have noticed more and more that it generally stems from our youngest. He makes fun of his older brother and although we all have jokes at each others expense, his delve into what we believe to be bullying!
Whenever my eldest says anything, and I mean anything, he will be sneered at, or laughed at or belittled as though what he says has no relevance.
We have approached our youngest and explained how he is behaving. What makes it worse is that our oldest has very mild Asperger traits ( not fully diagnosed, but noticeable). Again we have tried explaining this to our youngest and have used some books to show him how his brother thinks. IT DIDN’T WORK- IN FACT IT MADE IT WORSE.
Now I know you will all be thinking he must be attention seeking. However, he gets a lot more time devoted to him on a 1 to1 basis because of his acting. I am always with him for auditions and shows. Everything tends to revolve around what he is doing, our Christmas this year was dominated by the fact he was acting in Panto everyday of the holidays.
So I need help. Where are we as parents going wrong?
I cannot see any other reason for it other than our total parent fail!!!
We try everything, we take things ie: Ipods / TV away. We stop him sometimes going to a party or to friends if he has been particularly bad. We also stand by our word and if we threaten something, we ALWAYS carry it through. So you would think he would get the message.
Our main concern is how he treats his brother.
TOTAL PARENT FAIL…………………..surely there is no other explanation.
Where do we go from here…………….it’s quite depressing, for everyone apart from my youngest son!!