Date night ideas if you have chronic illness

Date night ideas if you have chronic illness

When you have long term chronic illness and pain it affects you daily whether you like it or not. There will be days when you desperately want to do all the things, but its just not accessible to you due to pain or fatigue levels. It’s frustrating. So date night ideas when you have chronic illness need organising, or adjusted around what is accessible to you that particular day. Disabled dating is all about keeping it accessible to you.

Dating is an an absolute minefield at the best of times. I’m no longer in that dating minefield. I have been married for over 25 years. I wont pop on my rose tinted specs and tell you those 25 years have been a breeze. I’m a realist so I can tell you they have been worked hard for. That’s one thing I have learnt over that time. It wont be all sunshine and flowers but that makes it all the better when you do have sunshine and flowers.

It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of popping the telly on and scrolling on your phone. But I doubt that will get you anywhere in the dating world. Dating is all about connecting after all. So, even after being together for so long date nights, or days, are a great way of reconnecting for us.

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London Escaped Vampire Slayer Review

London Escaped Vampire Slayer Review

First of all I want to make it clear that this was my very first time in an escape room ever. So this review is based solely on that one experience rather than a comparison to other escape rooms of other styles. I was lucky enough to be asked to go along to London Escaped Vampire Slayer to review.

London Escaped have a couple of different rooms to experience such as the Da Vinci and The Prisoner. I went with a lovely group of escape room veterans via Love London Pop Ups to give their new Vampire Slayer game a try.

As someone who hasn’t been to an escape room before I was literally going in blind with absolutely no clue of what to expect. I knew there would be clues and puzzles to work out and obviously you are under a time pressure to ‘escape’. We were a group of 7 people and for this game they advise between 2-8 people. But it can accommodate up to 10 people if necessary and it lasts for 60 minutes. We were there for a 4pm start and at that point in the reception area it wasn’t busy. It was great opportunity for a novice like me to get a sneak peek into some of the other rooms.

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Buck Buck Games – The Hunt for the Smoking Caterpillar

Buck Buck Games The Hunt for the Smoking Caterpillar

I was recently invited to attend a new immersive theatre game. The Hunt for the Smoking Caterpillar, by Buck Buck Games, held in their residency at The Owl and the Hitchhiker pub on Holloway Road, London.

I’ve never really attended anything immersive theatre, or escape room related before. I literally had no idea what I was walking into. The Buck Buck Games website describe it as ‘ Our event games and characters combine escape rooms, immersive theatre and murder mystery with fun fuelled challenges’.

So I thought I would take my husband along for unique evening out.

The pub itself is a complete hidden treasure in itself and it’s quirkiness is apparent as soon as you walk in. It has hairdryers all hanging from the ceiling above the bar. There’s a table tennis table around the back of the bar and there were a group of people playing card games at one of the tables. We even spotted couple playing monopoly. Not your typical pub in any sense.

They have a great menu. Our plan was to eat before we played but unfortunately the traffic was not on our side that evening and we didn’t have enough time. But it  included an extensive vegan selection. Although we didn’t get the chance to eat, the food that was coming out of the kitchen looked very good.

Anyway, on to the games. As we arrived and got a drink we could see more groups turning up and congregating at the bottom of the stairs were the games were advertised.

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Our weekend celebrating in Dublin

In April this year my eldest son turned 21 and it was also our 25th wedding anniversary. Instead of having a big family party for both ( which my son would have hated, and my husband would have hated) we decided to do a shared celebration with just us four. I’m not being funny but with the amount you spend on a party ( with food, drink and decorations etc) we have always been the type to put the money to a better use ( for us anyway) to go somewhere and have an experience instead. The amount of effort involved with food alone would put me under pressure illness wise and by the time I would have done all the organising for it I would probably be too exhausted to actually enjoy it! Anyway, we decided before Christmas that  a weekend in Dublin was our plan and so we all had something to look forward to.

I’ve been to Dublin many years ago with a group of friends and had a great time, but as I’m from Belfast myself it’s always been a place I wanted to take my boys and we agreed we would wait until they were old enough to drink legally! So we decided we would combine the celebrations and take ourselves away for a long weekend there as a family. We were actually looking forward to going away with our boys who are now 21 and 18 years old, it’s a whole other experience when they are this age. Less arguing, less faffing, less stress, more fun, more easy going and well, more enjoyable!

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The inevitable Christmas overwhelm

As I sit here writing this I am still  feeling the affects of drinking way too many cocktails at a Christmas party last night, and I am watching White Christmas for the very first time!

 

It’s the ultimate Christmas cliche isn’t it? Christmas parties, festive hangovers and idyllic lazy afternoons watching Christmas films and feeling like its just ‘the most wonderful time of the year’. However, what you don’t see is the inevitable Christmas overwhelm that I have now come to expect every year. My husband loves Christmas and says it’s his favourite time (and day) of the year………………..well I mean you would wouldn’t  you if you if it literally landed on your lap with virtually no effort whatsoever! That’s how it is most years, I sort ALL the presents (even for all his side of the family), I sort everything we get for our boys, I organise all of the food and treats………Oh and then I obviously cook dinner most years ( although thankfully I am not this year as we are at the in laws on the day). That generally leads to an annual Christmas meltdown for me at some point, normally fairly close to the big day, when I realise I haven’t got everything I need, haven’t wrapped anything and realise I haven’t got something we need for the actual dinner. Anyway you get the general picture.

Yet on good ‘ol social media everyone is literally Christmassing the shit out of life, putting their decs up as early as possible, having all their pressies wrapped by December 1st and their food order slot booked, and so can sit smugly back and take time for themselves to get their Christmas nails done, order their party dresses enjoy the wonderful festive season in all it’s glory.

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Biggin Hill Festival of Flight Air Show 2018

Biggin Hill airport is literally 30 minutes from where we live and yet in the 22 years we have lived here we have never gone to the airshow. We are both ex RAF (it’s where we both met) and love this sort of thing and have often been to Duxford Imperial War Museum and other similar places when we are on holiday.

This year was no different, to be fair, until a friend said she had booked tickets to go and so we jumped on their band wagon and booked tickets literally the day before we went. The planned displays sounded good and my friend, who has always wanted to see the Red Arrows display, was excited to hopefully see them.

The weather when we arrived was pretty rubbish with fairly low cloud, and although the forecast was to improve, we weren’t holding out much hope for the Red Arrows display ( I’m ex air traffic control………….so have a fair idea of judging whether they can display or not). Although they took off to display at Eastbourne they were quickly returned due to the weather. Fortunately for us their planned display was not until the end of the day so we just kept our fingers crossed.

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So, what’s next for Mrs B?

I’ve certainly been asking myself that for a while now. I’m a mum of 2 boys but they are now 20 and 17 (almost18), finding their own independence, as one is at uni and the other is at 6th form and also working a part time job. I have been married for 24 years and my hubby is a shift worker so that means I now spend the majority of my time alone! Due to my illness and chronic pain I’m no longer able to work a conventional job (I was a driving instructor), but I’m lucky that blogging and running social media accounts can be done in pj’s even on a bad day if necessary.

Yet when the boys where younger my life was busy (illness or not) with after school clubs, kids parties, meeting up with friends in the holidays etc, and although I am still officially a taxi service, a cook and a bank, my life is much more subdued. That in itself gives you time…………………..LOTS of time! Time to ponder and think about your own role in life. Yes I am still a wife and a mum but I am also ME. So, with 48 looming very quickly (and my hubby turning 50 last year!) I am starting to think about my time. How do I want to spend my time now my kids are off doing their own thing most of the time? Read more

Fibromyalgia pain management help on the horizon

Fibromyalgia pain management help on the horizon

 

Any of you that have been following me for a while will know that I have ME and Fibromyalgia, which in layman’s terms means I am permanently exhausted and have constant chronic pain. There are lots of other symptoms but the list is too long to mention.

I was diagnosed in 2009 and after being initially referred for a 12 week management program in London at the start my Borough decided they would not pay for me to go out of borough for treatment.  So, after being diagnosed  I was then left with no input apart from pain relief from my GP.

I spent years on Tramadol until my body totally adjusted and they were having absolutely no effect. Last year when the pain became to difficult to handle my GP switched me to Morphine (slow release) and Oramorph for breakthrough pain during the day. Again as my body adjusted they had less and less effect and the dosages where increased to a point where my GP could not authorise another increase without referring my to a Rheumatologist.

This was probably the best thing that could have happened. I had an appointment in February and she confirmed 18 tender points of Fibro around my body alongside all over body tenderness. That means my body feels bruised so wearing clothing/ shoes etc all hurts as though someone is pressing directly on a bruised piece of skin. From there she referred me to the Fibromyalgia clinic and I had that very long appointment yesterday. It takes all afternoon as you see three separate specialists in different areas who all work together to approach the illness from different angles.

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My Slimming World update Week 29-31

Last time I updated you I was very, very close to my target. Well guess what? I only went and bloody done it!

target-certificate

Yes, I reached my new target of 9stone with the fabulous help of Slimming world. I have taken to this plan like a duck to water when I joined back in August last year. As I have mentioned before ( or maybe not!) I do not have the busiest of social life thanks to my ME and Fibromyalgia. It means I am not out surrounded by temptation every weekend, which has obviously been a good thing for me, however, it has also meant my weight loss has been a slow but steady journey due to the fact i cannot conventionally exercise.

But it’s true that slow and steady wins the race in my case.

I have just today got all my summer clothes out ( wishful thinking on my part maybe!) and while sorting out my wardrobe I realise that actually not a lot fits me anymore. Now don’t get me wrong, I am in no way complaining, it’s a great problem to have.

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My Slimming world results week 14 and 15

On week 13 I had to miss my weigh in due to going into hospital for a day procedure. I still stuck to plan though before and after the day ( excluding a treat of my first mince pie of the season- which was well earned as I couldn’t eat from 9am the day before my procedure and having sedation that didn’t sedate making the day kind of traumatic all round!). However, it was onwards and upwards from there and I had nothing planned that was going to throw me off plan completely.

So weigh in for week 14, I was hopeful that I had lost and thankfully I was rewarded with a 2 lb loss, bringing me tantalisingly close to getting my weight down under the 10 stone mark! Having looked back after a chat in group after my previous 1/2lb gain about the amount of fruit that I eat, I decided to take the advice of another member to try adding more speed veg than fruit and maybe cutting the fruit down to about 3 pieces a day. In all honesty I didn’t think this would matter much to me but it really seems to have made a difference with my weight loss. As you know I am unable to exercise in the normal way due to my illness so I knew over all when I joined any weight loss would be slow.  I have also factored in a few EESP days throughout each week now which I also think may be helping and I  have managed to up my fluid intake loads after picking up my £5 bargain bottle, that you can add fruit to, from Matalan.

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